Sock, shoe, sock, shoe or How I learned to dress myself.

June 7, 2005 - 7:40 PM by

Moving to Israel is more than just crazy nationalistic dreams or visions of oppressive grandeur. Here, in the land holy to three major religions, we must exist in a state of constant reevaluation. In short, you are not the person here that you were there (there being wherever). Including, even the minor detail, of getting dressing. Allow me to start at the relative beginning.

Growing up in the illustrious suburbs of Philadelphia I was without any specific style of dress to speak of. For most my life I found jeans and pants to be uncomfortable and too stiff, leaving me with the socially awkward option of sweatpants. More recently I learned that one does not have to purchase their pants and tops together as an ‘outfit.’ Liberating indeed.

However, the one thing I was sure of was, when dressing, I put on my socks and shoes in the following order: sock, sock, shoe, shoe. To do so otherwise seemed silly. My reasoning was that if I put on a sock and then a shoe I could potentially be left with one fully outfitted foot while the other remained completely unattended to. As unlikely an event as it may be, I was certain that were my house to burn down it would be at the exact moment of imbalance in my foot couture.

Israel is a dusty place – and not just because of all the shit blowing up here. Buses and demolished homes aside, it’s just in the middle of a big ass desert with tons of dust and sand. This means that when you come out of the shower and want to get dressed your clean feet will inevitably become encrusted with whatever crud has accumulated on your stone floor since the last cleaning – or in my case, since you moved in. Thus a change is in order.

Now, I first have to dust off one foot, put on the sock and then apply said shoe. The process is then repeated for the opposite foot so that the Zionist way is: sock, shoe, sock, shoe. The bottom line is that it doesn’t make sense to put on a sock only to let it rest on the tile to accumulate more dirt before being placed in a shoe.

To date, there have been no emergencies cutting into the dressing of my feet – but I do worry.

My bare foot!

now go and read!

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Comments

One Comment on Sock, shoe, sock, shoe or How I learned to dress myself.

  1. Dan Toraason on Sat, May 17th 2008 5:11 PM

    2. And I thought I was the only one who worried about sock-shoe order!!
    I am a sock-sock-shoe-shoe myself….
    D

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