“Not Jewish?! What Are You Doing Here?”

April 4, 2006 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: General 

I’m easily addicted to soap operas — the people who live with me can vouch for that. I’m probably the biggest Desperate Housewives fan in Israel, and generally a sucker for other forms of serial drama, whether it’s dressed up in medical seriousness like ER or “Gray’s Anatomy.” I’ve also been known to keep up with daytime dramas (shhhh…no one will ever take me seriously again)

My latest addiction, though, is a real-life saga being published on the Internet, because the content is so close to home — the adventures and travails of an English speaking woman living in Israel.

Jill Cartwright is a 31 year-old non-Jewish woman from England who lives in Tel Aviv, where she works as a sub-editor at Haaretz newspaper and lives with her boyfriend, the Israeli singer/songwriter Saar Badishi. On the One Jerusalem website, she’s been publishing, in installments, a mini-memoir that recounts how and why she moved to Israel in the winter of 2001, at the height of the second intifada, and what it’s like to be a non-Jew in Israel.

It’s beautifully written, funny, entertaining, and appropriately titled, “Not Jewish?! What Are You Doing Here?”

Here’s a sample, starting with her father’s face when he learned she had bought a ticket to Israel when the second intifada was at its height. She dubbed it the “What the hell are you doing?” look.

It was the first such look – but definitely not the last. From then on it was normally directed at me by one of those guys who stroll Tel Aviv beaches looking for unsuspecting single girls reading a book in a foreign language. They know foreign girls will be more polite to them than any self-respecting Israeli girl who would tell them exactly where to go (but more of that later):

Guy: “Where are you from?”
Me: “England.”
Guy: “What is your name?”
Me: “Jill”
Guy: “Are you Jewish?”
Me: “No.”

Then the eyes squint into an involuntary spasm of perplexity, the forehead wrinkles, the jaw drops loose, the shoulders shrug and the palms turn out, the head starts to shake from side to side and they just can’t help themselves: “Then what the hell are you doing here?”

And it’s not just them – taxi drivers, grocery store owners, doctors, shop assistants, employers, colleagues, guys in bars, friends of friends, parents of friends and just plain old random people you meet – when Israelis want to know something they have no fear of asking (once, a woman sitting next to me on a bus even asked how much I earned and how much rent I was paying). They all want to know what a non-Jewish girl is doing in Israel.

I don’t think I was ever asked my religion until I came to Israel. In England I never really thought about it; when I answer “Christian,” the word rings strange in my ears and when they ask “Presbyterian or Methodist?” I kind of mumble “Church of England” although to be honest I’m not really sure what the difference is. It never really seemed to matter in England, but in Israel it is always the second question out of everyone’s mouth.

Which is strange, because from what I can tell of most Israelis – at least in Tel Aviv – seem very confident in their Jewish identity. It seems to be one less thing to worry about in the age of ceaseless wondering and wandering – and yet only a handful of my Israeli friends fast on Yom Kippur. Last year, on this holiest of holy days in the Jewish calendar, a friend from work even invited me to a barbecue – with pork no less. When I asked how she could even think of such a thing and told her I would be fasting, her incomprehension throbbed down the phone line.

Yes, I fast on Yom Kippur. I eat doughnuts at Hanukkah and dried fruit at Tu B’Shvat. I eat Bamba and sunflower seeds all year round; I even sometimes complain about the service in cafes or push to the front of the queue. My friends say I’m becoming more Israeli than Israelis. Who’d have thought?

It’s beautifully written, funny, entertaining. So if you want to find out what the hell she is doing here, check it out.

Part One is here

You can find links to all of the installments on the One Jerusalem home page.

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Unseasonable weather, ain’t it?

April 2, 2006 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: General, Israeliness, Life 

As most of the country experiences 14 straight hours of heavy rain in a last gasp of winter weather, I’m reminded of something a friend once told me .

As we heard a radio weatherman forecasting rain, he commented, “Israel’s probably the only country where a downpour can be thought of in patriotic terms. ”

I understood immediately what he meant – water is another one of those life and death issues in Israel, which is taken for granted in so much of the Western world. I haven’t heard much recently about the level of the Kinneret – the country’s only natural water source. But it can’t be too good, as the rainfall until today has been rather mild.

So as I was leaving an event last night, and people were huddled in the doorway preparing to make mad dashes for their cars, there was hardly a grumble or a mutter to be heard. In fact, the only comment was from a heavily made up, high-heeled woman (who, if anyone, should have been perturbed at going out in the rain).

She said, “It’s about time – we really need the rain. I hope it will last for a while.” We all either nodded, or grunted in agreement before dashing off into the night.

Rain – good for the country, good for the farmers, I kept on repeating to myself this morning, as it took me twice as long as usual to get to work.

And my friend who had the insight those many years ago? He moved back to America.

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A Pox On My House

April 2, 2006 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Life 

Chicken pox, that is.

My seven-year-old daughter is home from school scratching away, I’m sure the 19-month-old is next. It’s unclear whether or not my nine-year-old son will join in the fun or not. A few years ago, a bunch of kids in his class had the pox — he only had a few, five or six, and the doctor said at the time that it was unclear whether he had created the immunity or not.

I was out buying her calamine lotion yesterday evening and decided to pick up the latest kiddie DVD release to keep her entertained. I loved how appropriate it turned out to be: Chicken Little

The release is incredibly well-timed for a period where I’m dealing chicken pox and Israel is battling bird flu, don’t you think?

When I went into Tower Records to buy the DVD (yup, we have Tower Records in Ra’anana!) I experienced the multitasking abilities of the younger generation of Israelis. I walked in and the dreadlocked 20-something sales dude was listening to ear-splitting music and chatting with his friend who was on a skateboard. I went to pay for my merchandise, and saw on his cash register computer screen that he was online and in the midst of a chat. As I’m paying, his cell phone rings and he answers. So he’s listening to music, talking to his friend, chatting, on the phone, and waiting on me — all at once.

And we wonder why attention spans are getting shorter and ADD is rampant.

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