The Language of Friendship

May 1, 2006 - 8:04 AM by Israelity

When we moved to Israel in 1995, the last thing on my mind was making friends. I was worried about adjusting, and sending my then 2 year old off to preschool in a few months. But in the way of parents the world over, we ended up making friends with the parents of our daughter’s friends. Some were olim, but most were sabras; the proportion was pretty consistent with the makeup of our neighborhood.

Since those days, I have met lots of other people, again both olim and native Israelis. But the friends we spend the most time with and feel closest to are sabras. Only when I stop to think about this does it strike me as odd. Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to befriend Americans, who come from similar backgrounds, share similar experiences, and above all speak the same language?

My Hebrew has definitely improved over the years, but I am still a long way from speaking like a native. My friends and I manage somehow, at times stumbling over the right words, and bumbling through conversations with the aid of hand gestures and English phrases. While occasionally I am frustrated, it doesn’t bother me all that much. As true friends do, we connect on a level that makes understanding each and every word unnecessary.

I guess Thoreau had it right when he wrote: “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.”

Postcards from Israel

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