The Phone Call

August 9, 2006 - 1:03 PM by

A blogger who calls herself Shirat Hasirena (The Siren’s Song) was spending a quiet evening with her boyfriend when one phone call changed everything. It was the army and he was headed north.

We went to the Blockbuster rental stand to see if anything new had been added since we checked the other day. To our dismay, there was nothing new. I remembered that I have a stash of movies on my hard drive so we agreed to come back to my apartment and find something to watch.

We agreed on Madagascar. So we curled up in my bed and watched the movie on my laptop and ended up falling asleep at some point.

The next thing I know, it’s 2:30 in the morning and his phone was ringing. He answered it and sat up straight. He wasn’t saying anything…just listening. I kind of rolled over and tried to figure out who the hell was calling him so late…how had we fallen asleep? And I realized what was going on…he wasn’t saying anything because he was listening to recorded instructions.

I rolled over towards the wall and started sobbing.
My worst fear was coming true right in front of me.
My source of reason…the one who makes me calm…who keeps me grounded…he was being called to go to the army.

He hung up the phone and called his father to tell him about the call. He told him he would be home soon. He began to put his shoes on and I suddenly couldn’t breathe anymore…the pain in my chest was overwhelming.

“Relax. It’s not worth it to worry until there is something to worry about,” he said. “Right now, I don’t know what is happening. They just told me to be there at 9 and until I find out what is going on…there is nothing to worry about.”

“Take me with you. I will take a bus back in the morning,” I said.

“What do you have to do tomorrow?” he asked…always logical…

“Work. I have to work at home tomorrow,” I replied.

“So get your shoes,” he said.

And I started running around trying to remember what I needed…I didn’t really need anything but I ended up running around out of nervousness or something.

“You don’t have to rush,” he said. “I will wait for you.”

I threw my toothbrush, deodorant and wallet into a bag and put on my shoes.

We drove to his house…I hadn’t been there since February or March. I hadn’t seen his parents since the first week of February for sure. It was going to be interesting.

We got to his house and everyone was asleep. We got into bed and he fell asleep within 10 minutes. I sat there the entire night…watching him sleep…my beautiful boy…his beautiful face…always so calm. He’s the one who got called to army duty…and I’m the one who couldn’t stop crying.

I didn’t sleep a wink.
His alarm went off at 8:20 and I was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting…

I helped him pack his bag.
I folded his army fatigues…the green pants and green shirts.
I helped him put together his toiletries and his socks…his underwear and his hats…

His parents just hugged him and told him to be in touch.
Just like that…so calm…or at least appearing to be…

He didn’t even wake up his brother or sister on the way out.

Everyone was so calm…and I couldn’t stop crying.

He wouldn’t let me take the bus home…he drove me back this morning. As we pulled up to the bus stop in front of my apartment, I asked him if he wanted his prayerbook back. He had given me an itty bitty army prayerbook about two years ago…he said it was to protect me during my travels. It was during the time I was going back and forth to Israel…moving cross country in the US and basically running all over creation. I carried it in my purse all of last year…and I’ve had it in my backpack since the day I made aliyah. It goes with me to school every day and anytime I go on a trip.

“No. It’s ok…do you have it here with you in the car?” he asked.

“No. It’s upstairs but I know exactly where it is. Don’t you want to have it?” I asked.

“Well…since you ask it like that, then maybe yes,” he responded.

So I ran up and got it and gave it to him.

“I want it back, you know,” I said.

He smiled and brushed the hair out of my eyes.

“You know I love you, right?” I said.

“Of course,” he answered. “Don’t worry about me. Do your work. I will call and send text messages so you know I’m ok. It’s going to be fine.”

He showed me where his base was on the map. Near the Kinneret. Not on the border. Ok that’s one good thing.

We hugged.
I tried to stop crying for a minute.
I wanted to sit there and look at him for a while longer but I knew it wasn’t fair to him. I needed to be strong and let him go.

I got out of the car and he drove off.

He just called me about 15 minutes ago. It’s been like 12 hours since we parted ways this morning. He said he’ll be training on the base for a few days…maybe even a week. He asked me what I did today…what I’m doing tomorrow.

“I’m trying to do my stuff,” I said in Hebrew.

“Don’t try. Just do it,” he responded…also in Hebrew.

“I’m trying.”

He promised to call tomorrow when he had a minute.

I’ve been carrying the phone around with me all day today…to the bathroom…in my lap as I ate my last meal before fasting…I put it on vibrate and held it in my hand as I walked back to my apartment from Kikar Rabin. I’m becoming some other woman. I’m obsessing over a soldier. When did this become my life? How did this transformation happen? When will I be calm and cool like his mother? Will I ever? Is this something you can just “get used to”?

And so for now, I guess I just need to get used to having the phone attached to my body at all minutes of every day. I always had it on me…in my purse or something…but I feel like now I can’t even go to a different room without it.

“This is what it’s like being a soldier’s girlfriend,” someone said to me today.

But I’m not even his girlfriend.
I just love him.

I had a little tear in my eye on Sunday morning as I rode the train to Beit Shemesh. My train was full of soldiers…so many soldiers. And they’re so young and strong and beautiful. And I thought about where they were going and what they would be seeing in the next few days or weeks…and I had a little tear in my eye.

And now it’s my soldier.
This boy who has worked his way into my heart and soul…changed me…moved me…loved me…

His beautiful face…

He’s a soldier today.

And I’m one of the ones left behind to be hopeful and wish for a speedy resolution so our boys will come home.

Tags: • Category: A New Reality 

Comments

3 Comments on The Phone Call

  1. angeli on Wed, Aug 9th 2006 5:43 PM

    2. You never really think that someone else knows exactly what you are going through ,so although horrible to hear that you are suffering – its reassuring to know that someone else is going through the same thing – I am from London not the US but I am also in love with someone just called up and I live here in Israel now to be with him.
    It is weird how you end up “obssessing over a soldier” it is a different life to the one you thought you would have – you sound just like me !
    Anyway good luck and I hope he returns to you safe and unharmed.

  2. hank hall on Wed, Aug 9th 2006 11:31 PM

    3. Since the Hezbolla believe that they will all go to heaven if they are killed in combat with infidels, WHY are they making it so difficult for themselves to be killed. Why do they construct tunnels, hardened redoubts, etc.

    Is it only those DUMB, EASILY INFLUENCED deciples that they convince that it is alright to blow themselves up as long as they kill others along with themselves that go to heaven.

    If that is the case then Hezbolla is fighting a losing cause. And causing terrible damage to the Lebanese people.

    Please don’t stop ISRAEL, we believe you should survive and prosper.

  3. David on Thu, Aug 10th 2006 4:25 AM

    4. When I was a teenager my mother had a close friend who lost one son in the 1970 War of Attrition and another in the first few hours on the Golan in 1973. The strength of their mother and father was grounded in Zionism.

    That Israel’s survial is imperative. There can be no tears now. There must be no self-doubt, none of the unearned guilt that the world is attempting to place, but only the utter justice and purity of Israel’s cause of self-defense.

    The possibility of something happening is there but really, logically, the probability is not high.

    Try not to distress yourself and “just do your stuff” is really sage advice.

    God bless and I am sure [based on logic] that the love of your life will return safe and sound.

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