Late Summer Vacation I

August 25, 2006 - 6:43 AM by Allison

Noorster’s been taking her mom to see the sights of Jerusalem.

And shopped the souk in the Old City. Sounds like Mom’s a quick study:

Mum and I started our shortish tour of the Old City with a brief incursion into the Arab shuk, where we ended up buying all kinds of completely unnecessary clutter for peanuts. We bought a bracelet and a shawl for me, a keychain for her, and other assorted crap for her friends and colleagues. Surprisingly, it took us ages to find a decent-looking rosary for one of her friends, but in the end we walked away with a scented one (I shit you not) for about 10 shekels (asking price: 220).

The place was remarkably entry – I still remember the good old pre-intifadah days when I lived in Jerusalem and was nearly trampled to death several times by jovial Danish tourists while walking down the narrow streets and alleys of the Muslim Quarter.
After closing a deal, one of the vendors pondered his situation.

Vendor 1: Things very bad. No tourists.
Noorster: Because of the…
V1: Yes, because of broblems. [note how he refrained from using the words "war" or "situation"]

I offered to commiserate with him and his assistant, and told them I was a waitress on the tayelet in Tel Aviv (not that I usually walk around telling people that), making no money.
At this point his assistant turned to me and (in fluent English) said, Yes, but at least in Tel Aviv you have the beach, the beautiful women, the good life. Here we have none of that. We’ve actually considered closing shop and moving on to something else.

I really wasn’t in the mood for the shuk game. My mother, however, had tons of fun. I’ve never ever seen anyone bargain like that – she was amazing! Since she doesn’t speak English, I did all the talking on her behalf, kept smiling and demonstrating interest; her job was to get visibly upset, shake her head, wrinkle her nose, pout, tsk and walk away in protest – how dare they dream of ripping her off like that, it’s insulting!

It worked wonders.

Vendor 2: Is she yorr motherr?
Noorster: Yes, she is.
V2: Yeees? [shakes head] Very strrange. You arr so soft! And she is so… hard!

What he didn’t know was that we were just playing Good Cop/Bad Cop.