Coming and Going

September 17, 2006 - 6:35 PM by

Almost every immigrant to Israel can relate to these feelings:

You make aliyah, I make aliyah, We make aliyah and all of us become friends. But then one friend get married, one gets a new job in another city, another just feels that he/she needs to go back to where they came from or the friend made just came here for an extended visit.

A major issue of aliyah is making friends and losing them. As every new oleh/olah can attest to, we have all made friends here in Israel but not all of them stay. You come here needing to build yourself a circle of family and that consists mostly of friends and a sometimes a significant other. Friends are the anchors, support system and worrying parents we turn to who can understand the daily trials, tribulations and celebrations over small milestones in our klita (absorption).

But what no one tells you is that not everyone stays. And more importantly you are guaranteed to lose a few friends on the journey.

It is amazing to watch friends grow and figure out exactly where they fit in the larger scheme here in Israel. There is nothing more amazing then watching friends get married here. To not only move across the world and have not a single friend here but then to be able to find a life partner and then to continue to cultivate those new family roots here…. I have to say that the weddings I’ve been here have been best weddings I’ve attended. ever. Except of course the few close friends and family members.

It is hard to lose friends you consider family. New jobs, family and opportunities change the dynamics. The sadness is partnered with happiness for your friends for reaching their personal goals and watching them grow. This is just the way it is. No one ever said moving away from home was easy.

Tags: • Category: Immigrant Moments 

Comments

One Comment on Coming and Going

  1. David on Sun, Sep 17th 2006 6:48 PM

    2. I have lived in four countries besides Israel, South Africa, Britain, The Netherlands and United States. This means I have spent most of the past twenty years outside Israel.

    I would say that friends are important as is as you put it “a significant other”. Along the way I have made and left friends, including gaining “aso” and she left a little while ago too.

    I think it is important not to depend on or need anyone, but yourself. The people in one’s life are a welcome and pleasureable supplament and you WANT them in your life as they want you.

    We make who we are, we form our own soul.

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