Playing Israeli “Survivor” — Make It Through the Bureaucracy and You’ll Stay on the Island

October 19, 2006 - 1:45 PM by

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Katrina Yellow, who is attempting to cope with immigrating from South Africa, relates her experiences and her important conclusion:

We were attempting to prove to the Misrad Hapanim (Interior Ministry) that we are a happily married couple. Ha! The half hour we were late was the crucial half hour, so we arrive at the Misrad Hapanim at 5 to 9, an hour later than planned. I got sent off to all the wrong places, and by the time we got to the right place they told us we came too late, try again tomorrow. At this point my usually mild husband throws his toys out of his cot and yells at everyone in the building. For those who have not experienced the joy that is dealing with an Israeli government official, you may find his reaction over the top. For those of you who have experienced that particular joy, you are probably wondering why he did not whip out a gun and pistol whip a few people. We got a list of all the things we need to bring to them when we next come, which of course was completely different from the all the things we had brought to the previous office we went to. It also included things we do not have, such as a piece of paper saying you are registered to study, which of course I am not yet. They either want you to be registered as a student somewhere, or they want pay slips. There is no option to not be doing anything of course.

I have decided that although Israel does not do formal tests of your knowledge of the language, or the history of the country, the process of becoming a citizen pretty much guarentees you are Israeli. If you cannot handle the immense beurocratic struggle and come out successful, you are clearly not cut out to be Israeli. If at the end you can scream and shout in rapid speed hebrew, jump all queues, and argue with everyone in sight, you have succeeded. Congratulations you are indeed Israeli.

Tags: • Category: Immigrant Moments, Israeliness 

Comments

One Comment on Playing Israeli “Survivor” — Make It Through the Bureaucracy and You’ll Stay on the Island

  1. SnoopyTheGoon on Thu, Oct 19th 2006 3:39 PM

    2. The bureaucracy every ole chadash goes through is, I strongly suspect, a civilian version of the army bootcamp. If you are strong enough to come through keeping your sanity intact, you are strong enough to become an Israeli.

    Not that it is put in writing in some secret document, but it is consistent with every other ole’s experience.

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