Chayyei Barfly

November 2, 2006 - 5:50 PM by Allison

Those who know and love her wouldn’t fall over with shock to learn that Jerusalem blogger Chayyei Sarah doesn’t particularly fancy hanging out in bars. In fact, the intrepid 30-something Orthodox journalist informs us that she has only been out pub-crawling three times in her life (it is the rare journalist — or college graduate, for that matter — who can make that claim.) But she ventured out recently and — wallah! — she actually had a good time.

Last week, my friend L. sent me an email, inviting me to O’Connell’s for her 30th birthday party. I looked up O’Connell’s on the internet and discovered that it was a bar. I sent her an email saying “What does one wear to a bar? And if I don’t drink will I be totally geeky?” She wrote back that it’s a KOSHER bar (that is, it has certification that all the food and drinks are kosher), and does not attract the typical bar clientele, and I could wear and do whatever I want.

Indeed, the place was not packed, and the people who were there were deep enough into their 20′s and 30′s that the atmosphere was fairly subdued. There were two guys at the bar itself. Only one person was smoking in the entire place. The music was loud but they played songs that I like a lot. And since it is kosher, I could order food! I ordered fish and chips (and a Coke) at a bar! Wow! Israel is a great place. Yeah, everyone else in our birthday party was having beers or tequilas, but I realized, while I was eating my meal, that they don’t care whether I’m having a Coke or what, and also that I don’t really care if they think I’m geeky. I am geeky. And I like it that way.

I guess I’ve matured enough to realize that not only do I not need bars, but I also don’t need to not need them. I could hang out with other people, note that having to shout and not being able to see them is quite annoying, enjoy my fish and chips, and then go home, pleased that I’d made my friend happy and met some new people. I know myself better now, and I don’t have to prove to myself or anyone else that I’m frum enough, or that I’m American enough, or that I’m Israeli enough, or that I’m cool enough. I’m a cool chyck who does not like bars, but will gladly go to one if that’s where my friend wants to celebrate her birthday.

The kosher bar, and me. We are what we are.

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