Unexpected Lessons Learned

November 23, 2006 - 8:30 PM by

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I confess, I’m loving this new blog, where a new immigrant Benji is relating the whole intensive learning of Hebrew experience hilariously. Ulpan, he reveals, teaches you a lot more than the Hebrew language.

So what have I learned?

It’s true-the Jewish people really do want peace. As the propaganda says, we educate our young (and future Hebrew speakers) for it. On a recent worksheet, one of the sentences to be translated stated “We hope there will be peace”; we had to conjugate the verb. I wonder what the language proficiency tests of some our neighbors look like?
1. I want to _____ the Jews.
a) kill
b) killed
c) would have killed
d) Allah Akbar!

A lot of women come to Israel because of their Israeli boyfriends. And not all of them Jewish. Ok, so maybe not a lot but at least four in my class who I’ve met so far. One from Canada (not an MOT), another from Vermont (nope), one from Japan who is married to one (take a wild guess), and one from South Africa (card-carrying member!) What is it about Israeli men? And why in the world would you come to this country if you weren’t Jewish? Do you WATCH the news? IT’S A WAR ZONE!!! (If you believe that last sentence, please find yourself a new blog to follow.) I have had one conversation with the nice Japanese woman. A few minutes into our talk, I prefaced the next question with “this is a really silly question” in Hebrew before asking if she had seen “The Karate Kid.” Maybe it’s better that she didn’t know what I was talking about…

That singing “Hatikva” is somewhere between often and always a spine-tingling experience (as so recently explained here). One day last week, a woman from the Ulpan (let’s call her “the music lady”) joined our class for a few minutes, presumably for the first of many times, to teach us a song with her guitar. She sang “Hatikva” and taught us the words, although I imagine most of us knew them. To look around the room at a room of immigrants, all gathered together for the same reasons, learning the language together…if that doesn’t give you chills, what does?…

Hebrew is a language of few words. It’s funny how every English word has 57 synonyms. Just a few for the word “angry”: mad, furious, irritated, incensed, outraged, sulky, ill-tempered, fuming…I think I’ll stop here. Hebrew’s pretty simple-its modern form has only been around for about as long as the automobile. My teacher Dafna is always directing the class in single words. “OK!” “Kadima!” (forward!, or let’s continue) “Tov!” (good) “Naaaaa-chon!” (right) I love Dafna. Starting last week, we have a different teacher on Thursdays. Unlike Dafna, she did not talk to us in the “you’re a four-year old” tone of voice. I was very upset by this.

Sticking with the language observations. Israelis are known to be direct (not rude). Did their directness cause the language to develop as it did, with people speaking in a short, direct manner? Or is it simply the absence of words that causes them to get to the point quickly? It’s the old camel and the egg argument. My co-worker Lymore in New York used to get mad at me when I’d say something to her in Hebrew in a single word, like “ZU-zee” (move), accusing me of being rude. That’s how Israelis talk though. They don’t say “excuse me, kind sir, would you be so kind as to move a little bit out the way so I could possibly maneuver my way around you if it’s not inconvenient, please?” They say “move”. It sounds weird for Americans but, hey, when you’re busy fighting wars, who has time for small talk?

Tags: • Category: Immigrant Moments 

Comments

8 Comments on Unexpected Lessons Learned

  1. Benji Lovitt on Sat, Nov 25th 2006 12:27 AM

    2. Wow, this is incredibly flattering. Allison, please get in touch with me! I don’t know how to reach you. : )

  2. David on Sat, Nov 25th 2006 3:14 AM

    3. And the children of these non-Jews will not be considered Jewish unless they convert. Israel is not a secular country – there is no such entity in the mid-East – in the conventional sense of the word.

    And while there are also many Liberals who will screech indignantly that “so what” – the reality of Israel is that unless you are Jewish, you can and never will truly belong.

    No rabbi can marry these people and if they get married under another “looser” religion, then they are lost as Jews.

    And anyone saying “so what” to that had better rethink and understand why Israel exists. The day Israel relieves itself of its Jewish nature this way, is the day it is lost.

    I disapprove of mixed marriages, there is no reason for it and it is a betrayal of the Jewish people.

  3. David on Sat, Nov 25th 2006 3:20 AM

    4. Israelis do not have manners and it is not endearing. It is disgusting. I am a Sabra and my people arrived in Israel during the First Aliyah.

    Now while the new olim may find this so cute, having lived outside Israel, traveling around for the past 20 years, it is something that I certainly do not miss.

    There is NO excuse. Peasants have no manners. Does Israel want to be thought of as peasants as well as being disliked by most other countries unjustly, I might add. I would hope not.

    I was raised to say please and thank you and excuse me – and I am an Israel with generations of Sabras before me.

    It is called common courtesy. It is called being civilized.

    Grow up Israel. Bad manners are for savages, boors and peasants.

  4. Katherine on Sun, Nov 26th 2006 7:20 AM

    5. Hey David

    As one of those wicked wicked non-jewish girls who married an Israeli – I have this to say to you – lighten up!

    Katherine

  5. David on Tue, Nov 28th 2006 1:53 AM

    6. Katherine, it is niot a matter of “lghtening up”. To Jews, and clearly not all, this is a matter of national survival.

    If a non-Jew does not undergo orthodox conversion, in the eyes of Israel, they are not Jewish. If this person is a woman, marrying a Jew, any childen will not be Jewish. Regardless.

    Israel is not the United States or Canada. Its onlyeason for being is as a Jewish country.

    There is ONLY religious marriage in Israel.

    Children, not Jewish, will always be at a disadvantage in Israel. That is the reality.

    I was born and raised a Jew, an Israeli. One whose people came over in the First Aliyah. I know my people and I know my country, and I know the way of the world.

    This is not a light subject.

  6. David All on Wed, Nov 29th 2006 11:43 PM

    7. Thanks Allison for posting this article. It is very moving to think of all these people immigrating to Israel from countries all over the world simply because they are all, in one way or another, part of the Jewish People Israel is indeed a very special country.

    “David”, Katherine is right, you need to seriously chill man or you are going to blow a gasket. Really if nothing else, you need to get laid and SOON!

    PS: On a previous thread you said I was a bad Jew or some such nonsense. Wish to inform you that you have become the 1 millionth person to mistake as a member of the Tribe. For that you will get a special prize as soon as I can think of something appropriate to you and your personality!

  7. David All on Wed, Nov 29th 2006 11:45 PM

    8. to mistake ME as a member of the Tribe. (Sorry about that mistake)

  8. Jacob on Mon, Dec 25th 2006 7:36 PM

    9. Have to agree with Katherine/David All…

    The Jewish conversion rites were designed for the Jewish Diasporah. They may be appropriate for that milieu, where Jews were (are) a small, frequently persecuted minority. But what is appropriate for Israel? esp. for a woman, where circumcision obviously isn’t an issue? Someone deciding to come to live in Israel is making a commitment to Judaism already. …

    “Ruth 1,16 And Ruth said: ‘Entreat me not to leave thee, and to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God;”
    …
    4,13-17 So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife; and … and she bore a son. … and they called his name Obed; he is the father of Jesse, the father of David.

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