Go straight to jail

February 25, 2007 - 3:57 PM by David Brinn

It’s nothing to be ashamed about – especially if you live in Israel – but I’m not having an easy time making my mortgage payments. So, upon a friend’s advice, I went to my Mr. Mooney to ask about refinancing the payback terms, and perhaps extending the mortgage for a few more years. I guess you Americans would call it refinancing.

Well, turns out that it was great advice – I can get lower interest, extend the payments til I’m about 102 years old, and my monthly payments will be significantly cut.

Anyone who’s ever taken a ‘mishkanta’ (mortgage) here, knows it entails a physical and mental marathon that combines a scavenger hunt, a Monopoly game, and nerves of steel.

But just switching the payment terms on an existing miskhanta? Great! I thought, let’s do it, thinking that I’d just have to sign a few documents, pay the surcharges (we are talking about an Israeli bank where ‘surcharge’ is their middle name), and presto – get ready for that trip to Euro Disney with all that extra money.

Not so fast… turns out I still need to go to this office, get this signed, bring it to that office, get that signed (all with payments involved of course), get this document notarized, get a lawyer to tie a funny red ribbon around that document, get the wife into the bank to sign, prove I haven’t done anything untoward with my property – in short, it’s almost as bad as taking out a new mishkanta.

I’m in midstream, so I’m not going to jump off the horse now… and I can see the end of the scavenger hunt. But I tell you, I still feel like at any minute I’m going to pick that card that says ‘go directly to jail.’ Where at least I’ll have a roof over my head, even if I can’t make the mortgage payments…

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