Language Barriers
For the past year, the fluorescent light in my living room has not worked properly. In order for it to work properly, I had to stand on a stool and twist the bulb every time I wanted light. This had been going on for some time, but after a recent visit by my landlord and another light that stopped working, I recently discovered that this problem could be fixed for only a few shekels. All I needed was a “start-ehr” (think heavy Israeli accent), informed my trusty landlord. Of course, I had never heard of a starter, not needing one on lights newer than 15 years old, and wasn’t sure if it was the same thing in Hebrew or English, as my landlord doesn’t speak English.
So, after weeks of putting off buying a “start-ehr” (whatever that was), I finally went to a hardware store near Mahane Yehuda after work last night.
Yesh l’cha starter? Do you have a starter?, I asked in my heavy American accent.
Mah atah rotzeh? Ani lo yodea ma zeh? What do you want, I don’t know what that is?” replied the man behind the counter, as he asked his co-worker what I was talking about.
Start-ehr, start-ehr, I replied in as heavy an Israeli accent I could muster. I’m always a bit embarrassed to say English words in Hebrew. Bishvil haMenorah. For the light. Start-ehr.”
Aha, achshav ani mevin. Start-ehr. Lama lo amarta kodem? Oh! Now I understand. A starter! Why didn’t you say so before?”
A few minutes later, a shekel and a half spent, I was out the door and after several years of having to stand on a stool and twist the bulb every time I wanted light, it finally worked properly – all for 35 cents and a new Hebrew word – start ehr.
And Now.. a Pause for Nature
I couldn’t resist this photo. In advance, apologies again to the Europeans, Canadians and East Coast/Midwest dwelling North Americans currently being hit by snow storms, cold fronts and sub-zero temps…*sigh* We pay high taxes but get the good weather. It’s part of the deal.
Anemones are in full bloom and weekend warriors are hitting the roads as we head into Spring…Yahoo!
As time goes by
Filed under: Business, General, History and Culture, Life
If you ever get underwhelmed or disillusioned over the emergence in Israel of all the cookie cutter malls and chain stores which are increasingly dotting our landscape more quickly than you can say ‘McDonalds’, take a step back in time with a visit to the ‘Clal Building’ on Jaffa Road in Jerusalem.
Time and progress have passed this giant monstrosity by, and walking into it is like stepping into the Star Trek transporter back to 1980.
I recall when it was built, it was touted as Jerusalem’s first indoor mall, and for a while in the mid-80s, it hosted the city’s top cinema, as well as dozens of shops, offices and restaurants.
But it was horribly designed, and like with all city establishments, when the malls took roost in the suburbs the Clal Building began to suffer. The movie theater closed, many of the shops left, and it looks like the place hasn’t been renovated in years.
70-year-old guards are inspecting 80-year-old patrons at the gates. When you walk in, it’s like a labyrinth of half floors, confusing signs, poor lighting, stores with handmade signs, and people walking around in a daze.
You can find just about anything there – repair shops, second-hand bookstores, falafel stands, appliance stores (used to also be an X-rated shop down in the basement, but I didn’t check if it was still there). I was there for one of the offices – a records department of a legal firm where I needed to get a form related to my mortgage.
After locating the elevators (hidden around a corner somewhere) and discerning between floor 2 and floor C2, I finally found the office. Opening the door, I swear I saw cobwebs floating away, as the two ladies up to their torsos in files and forms looked up in astonishment. I don’t think they had been let out in years, or had seen any other human shape.
After completing my task, I took the stairs back down to the store area, and out of nostalgia, got a cheese burekas on the way out – that staple of old-time Israel. It was only fitting.
The Mother of All “Yiyeh B’Seders”
As I detailed a few months ago, one of the national slogans here is “Yiyeh B’seder (it will be ok)”. There’s no situation yiyeh b’seder can’t handle. It’s the Clorox bleach of phrases.
“Fido crapped the floor? No problem!”
Get it?
I recently witnessed the mother of all yiyeh b’seders when talking with my roommate. It unfolded like this.
Benji: “I read in the paper that the Arabs are preparing for war.”
Roommate: “Ahhhh, dat’s bullsheet.”
B: “You think so? What about all the rhetoric from Iran?”
R: “Dey have been saying dat for years.”
B: “And now they’re building a bomb!”
R: “So what?”
B: “So then they nuke us! Kablooey!”
R: “So they nuke us! Yiyeh b’seder!”
And there it was. I felt like I just watched Wilt Chamberlain score 100 points in a game. I’ll be telling my grandkids about that performance some day.
Cross-posted at What War Zone???
Lead up to Oscar
For the intrepid Hollywood watchers among us, Dot Co Dot Il promises to liveblog next week’s 79th Academy Awards Ceremony straight from L.A. via his Jerusalem living room.
Goodonya, Dot Co, since the glam gets started at 3 a.m. Israel local (ahhhh!!!) on the 26th. This year’s host is the quirky & clever Ellen Degeneres – that should make middle of the night viewing more tolerable. If you want to catch it live on the tube, tune in to Channel 10, Jasmine TV, Yes One, Yes Two, Video Box or Yes DBS Satellite in Israel. 
Subscribe
Subscribe to Israelity via email:
Social Media
Categories
- A New Reality
- Art
- Blogging
- Business
- coexistence
- Crime
- design
- education
- Entertainment
- Environment
- Food
- Foto Friday
- General
- health
- History and Culture
- Holidays
- Immigrant Moments
- Israeliness
- Life
- Medical Breakthroughs
- Movies
- Music
- News
- Nostalgia Sunday
- Picture of the Week
- Politics
- Pop Culture
- Profiles
- Religion
- Science
- Social Justice
- Sports
- Technology
- Travel
- tv
- War
The Face of Israel Today
-
About Israelity
Free newsletter
Stories from ISRAEL21c.orgPopular Posts