Sudan Success Story

March 31, 2007 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Life, Politics 

The problem of Sudanese refugees fleeing to Israel to escape Darfur’s genocide has garnered press attention of late and an Israeli watchdog group has protested government policy of jailing refugees upon arrival.

No politics here for the moment. However, a wee illustration of how, in some cases, refugees are absorbed into Israeli society and flourish.

“T” fled the Darfur, Sudan genocide two years ago and sought refuge in Israel. When he came through the Egyptian border, he was imprisoned for being an illegal alien. After his release he went to Yemin Ord youth village near Haifa – an institution that houses mostly new immigrants from different countries.

Two months after arriving to the youth village he joined science classes and became an outstanding student. “One evening he was walking around the school and by chance saw a light on in the science lab,” said Uri Levav, his physics teacher.

He went inside and caught “the robot bug”. He then joined a group working towards an international robotics competition and became very active. Apparently very charismatic, T became the informal spokesman and leader of the group. He speaks Hebrew fluently, has a command of English and “plays nice” with peers.

“With no background in programming or robotics, his achievements are extraordinarily impressive. I take off my hat to him. He has made an enormous leap,” said the physics teacher.

How’d they do in competition? Fourth place which won’t take them to the finals in Atlanta. Never mind. There’s always next year.

Tags:

Trolling for Votes

March 31, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Holidays, Israeliness, Politics 

How do you make friends with the next-door neighbor? Why invite him for a BBQ, that’s what.

Just ask Hulk Hogan. I can’t link to the clip of Hulk-a-licious inviting all of his Miami Jewish neighbors to a Kosher BBQ because Viacom has pulled it. But it was amusing and if you missed it, you probably sorta get the gist anyhow.

In Israel, how does a filthy rich an extremely wealthy businessman garner votes make people happy? By inviting an entire country to a BBQ.

Billionaire business tycoon/political wanna be Arcady Gaydamak will host an Independence Day BBQ in Tel Aviv’s Ha’Yarkon Park open to the entire country. Everybody. All 6.1 or so million. With free meat, top level entertainment, fireworks and arranged transport so the traffic won’t reach insane proportions.

It’s a noble and very interesting proposal. Let’s see if he goes through with it. Tel Aviv Municipality has yet to receive a “formal request”.

The entire country.

“Fuggedabout it!” he says in the image above.

Get me outta town. It’s gonna be a mob scene. (no pun intended, of course)

Tags:

Table for 1200, Please

March 30, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Food, Holidays, Israeliness 

Aside from the mass gathering in Katmandu, I’m gonna wager my bet that the second largest Seder worldwide is being held at Kibbutz Naan in Central Israel.

Estimated head count for the evening is 1200. Runner up is Kibbutz Yagur outside of Haifa where 950 will break matzoh together.

Over the past few decades, the custom of eating in the kibbutz dining room has tapered off but Passover tradition seemingly dies hard. Sorta reminds me of summer camp in a warm, fuzzy kinda way.

Pass the gefilte, please.

Tags:

My Day with Maxim (Part II)

March 30, 2007 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: General 

Part I of my day with Maxim found here…

When we last left Benji, he was in the Azrieli train station, jaw hanging roughly 2 centimeters from the floor, hanging out at Nivit Bash’s photo shoot. I’ll be honest with you guys, I had more important things to do than to hang out ogling a bikini-clad Jewess, but when journalism calls, so be it. (And if you believe that, I have a beautiful time-share in Gaza to sell you.)

yasser_arafat_02_small.jpg
The previous owner of my summer home in Khan Yunis.
After about 30 minutes of shooting pictures, the crew prepared to pack up and head to the next site. When my new idol, err, Israel21c Editorial Director David Brinn invited me to come along, it was an easy decision. I settled myself at the back of the van, doing my best to find the oh-so-important balance between the following: on one hand, being friendly enough to convince the crew to let me stick around…and on the other, to not annoy the crap out of them, causing the proverbial “don’t pinch me” moment and pre-mature end to this dreamy morning. Seeing that most of the crew currently lives in New York, my previous place of residence, that was a natural topic of conversation.
IMG_19091.jpg
24 hours later…and I still don’t have this job.
The van stopped next to a gas station of all places, just across the Ayalon Highway next to the Azrieli towers. The crew chose to shoot her just in front of a big steel barrier right next to the street. (“And the sexist car-honkings and gawking will commence in three…two…one…”) You’ve all heard that famous statistic? About more Israelis being killed on the roads than in all the wars combined? It’s obvious why. FEMALE PEDESTRIANS. I’m curious: which country has the ugliest women in the world? You show me this country, I’ll show you safe roads and bored insurance companies. Within a few minutes, the arsim were appearing out of thin air, snapping pictures and acting offended when the crew told them “no pictures allowed.”
Some random thoughts that crossed my mind…
  • What exactly qualifies someone to be an Israeli model? My grandmother could throw a rock on Rothschild Avenue and hit the next Bar Rafaeli. (And her fastball has lost a little juice over the years.) There are hot chicks EVERYWHERE. “Hey, look at that hottie! She must be the Max…Oh wait…she works the register at Burger Ranch.”
  • I spent the downtime exchanging small talk with the friendly Maxim crew, one of which had worked photo shoots previously with several high-profile athletes like Dirk Nowitzki and LeBron James. “LeBron’s an ***hole. He has four babies from four mamas.” See, there’s the inside scoop you just don’t get from Haaretz. (Editor’s note: This is not true according to the internet, which of course is never wrong. I’ll believe it in this case.)
  • The photographer constantly gave Nivit direction like “Put the weight on that leg…yeah, that’s better.” Boy, some people sure are picky.
  • Why in G-d’s name does AIPAC insist on giving American Congressmen tours of places like the Kotel? Two words: THE BEACH!
IMG_1919.jpg
Miss Tishrei, 5765
(She looks different without her makeup, doesn’t she?)
Some time later, work was being to call (my real work) and I could see the window of opportunity beginning to close. I hadn’t had more than a brief exchange with Nivit yet and time was running out. When the shoot was finished, I approached her to begin the interview.
Benji: “Why are Israelis so beautiful?”
Nivit: “Kibbutz Galuyot (a term meaning “ingathering of the exiles”…the gene mixing answer again.) The sun…the water…”
Benji: “What’s better: sex or chumus?” (This was inspired by the “boxers or briefs” question to then-Presidential candidate Bill Clinton, more to elicit a reaction than anything else.)
Nivit: “Oh my G-d! Because I’m a model, I can’t eat chumus. I’ll go with sex. But chumus is good as well.” (Not two seconds later, having heard nothing, one of the crew asked her, “Are you hungry? Do you want to eat chumus?”)

Benji: “Do you have a message for America?”
Nivit: “We have a great country. Come and visit!”

And the capper:
Benji: “Do you want to come to my Seder?”
I don’t much remember how the following events happened but somewhere between this question and my leaving, she invited me to her parents’ house for Seder. Let me write that again: THE JEWISH MAXIM MODEL INVITED ME TO HER PASSOVER SEDER!!!

IMG_1920.jpg

“Why is this night different from all other nights?”
Umm…I’ll give you one guess.

Hey, it’s no secret Israelis are the most hospitable people on the planet. Why should this one be any different? I gave her my card and told her she better not be kidding. Free dinner…kosher for Passover (eye) candy…four cups of wine??? I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY!!!
Regardless of how many people buy this special magazine issue, I can confidently say, mission accomplished: I’m convinced. This is the greatest country in the world. And if she doesn’t call? I’ll see you at the newsstand.

Good times at What War Zone???

Tags:

Surviving the Family

March 30, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Holidays, Life 

Let’s be honest. Holiday time i.e. family time i.e. being around the family A LOT is great but it ain’t always pleasant. And in Israel, a whole heap of family time is about to unfurl.

First there’s Passover Seder. Then the Week of Passover. Then Maimouna. Then Independence Day. Aye, yay yay Karamba.

What do Israel’s mental health professionals advise for keeping it together during the Seder?

1) Know Who’s Coming. Because if you’re not getting along with aunt so and so, knowing she’ll be there will give time for mental prepping.

2) Arrange Seating. So there won’t be quibbling or awkward situations. Put name tags on plates. Seat parents next to small children, seat older kids with each other so they can have a good time and definitely don’t put feuding family members near each other.

3) Be on Hand to Greet. Warmly. As guests arrive. It makes them feel welcome.

4) Make Friends with Alcohol. It relaxes the mood and moves conversation. Serve a pre-dinner punch concoction

5) Plan Conversation Topics Ahead. So things don’t get stuck

6) In Case of an Argument..It’s the host’s job to cut it off at the pass. Tell both parties to STOP and remind them how hard you worked to put together the evening. No dice? Elicit help clearing or in the kitchen from one of the two to feuders.

7) Make the Table Festive

8) Decide Ahead who Will Help Serve and Clear..so not too many people are running between the table and kitchen

9) Serve the Gifts? If you received a food or beverage gift, open and share

10) Reduce Background Noise. Turn off t.v., radio, cellphones…If someone’s expecting a call from a relative abroad or a son in the army, have him/her take the call in the other room.

Tags:

Page 1 of 2612345...1020...Last »

 

© 2012 ISRAELITY | Site by illuminea | Sitemap