Sudan Success Story
The problem of Sudanese refugees fleeing to Israel to escape Darfur’s genocide has garnered press attention of late and an Israeli watchdog group has protested government policy of jailing refugees upon arrival.
No politics here for the moment. However, a wee illustration of how, in some cases, refugees are absorbed into Israeli society and flourish.
“T” fled the Darfur, Sudan genocide two years ago and sought refuge in Israel. When he came through the Egyptian border, he was imprisoned for being an illegal alien. After his release he went to Yemin Ord youth village near Haifa – an institution that houses mostly new immigrants from different countries.
Two months after arriving to the youth village he joined science classes and became an outstanding student. “One evening he was walking around the school and by chance saw a light on in the science lab,” said Uri Levav, his physics teacher.
He went inside and caught “the robot bug”. He then joined a group working towards an international robotics competition and became very active. Apparently very charismatic, T became the informal spokesman and leader of the group. He speaks Hebrew fluently, has a command of English and “plays nice” with peers.
“With no background in programming or robotics, his achievements are extraordinarily impressive. I take off my hat to him. He has made an enormous leap,” said the physics teacher.
How’d they do in competition? Fourth place which won’t take them to the finals in Atlanta. Never mind. There’s always next year.
Trolling for Votes
How do you make friends with the next-door neighbor? Why invite him for a BBQ, that’s what.
Just ask Hulk Hogan. I can’t link to the clip of Hulk-a-licious inviting all of his Miami Jewish neighbors to a Kosher BBQ because Viacom has pulled it. But it was amusing and if you missed it, you probably sorta get the gist anyhow.
In Israel, how does a filthy rich an extremely wealthy businessman garner votes make people happy? By inviting an entire country to a BBQ.
Billionaire business tycoon/political wanna be Arcady Gaydamak will host an Independence Day BBQ in Tel Aviv’s Ha’Yarkon Park open to the entire country. Everybody. All 6.1 or so million. With free meat, top level entertainment, fireworks and arranged transport so the traffic won’t reach insane proportions.
It’s a noble and very interesting proposal. Let’s see if he goes through with it. Tel Aviv Municipality has yet to receive a “formal request”.
The entire country.
“Fuggedabout it!” he says in the image above.
Get me outta town. It’s gonna be a mob scene. (no pun intended, of course)
Table for 1200, Please
Aside from the mass gathering in Katmandu, I’m gonna wager my bet that the second largest Seder worldwide is being held at Kibbutz Naan in Central Israel.
Estimated head count for the evening is 1200. Runner up is Kibbutz Yagur outside of Haifa where 950 will break matzoh together.
Over the past few decades, the custom of eating in the kibbutz dining room has tapered off but Passover tradition seemingly dies hard. Sorta reminds me of summer camp in a warm, fuzzy kinda way.
Pass the gefilte, please.
My Day with Maxim (Part II)
Part I of my day with Maxim found here…
When we last left Benji, he was in the Azrieli train station, jaw hanging roughly 2 centimeters from the floor, hanging out at Nivit Bash’s photo shoot. I’ll be honest with you guys, I had more important things to do than to hang out ogling a bikini-clad Jewess, but when journalism calls, so be it. (And if you believe that, I have a beautiful time-share in Gaza to sell you.)
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What exactly qualifies someone to be an Israeli model? My grandmother could throw a rock on Rothschild Avenue and hit the next Bar Rafaeli. (And her fastball has lost a little juice over the years.) There are hot chicks EVERYWHERE. “Hey, look at that hottie! She must be the Max…Oh wait…she works the register at Burger Ranch.”
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I spent the downtime exchanging small talk with the friendly Maxim crew, one of which had worked photo shoots previously with several high-profile athletes like Dirk Nowitzki and LeBron James. “LeBron’s an ***hole. He has four babies from four mamas.” See, there’s the inside scoop you just don’t get from Haaretz. (Editor’s note: This is not true according to the internet, which of course is never wrong. I’ll believe it in this case.)
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The photographer constantly gave Nivit direction like “Put the weight on that leg…yeah, that’s better.” Boy, some people sure are picky.
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Why in G-d’s name does AIPAC insist on giving American Congressmen tours of places like the Kotel? Two words: THE BEACH!
Nivit: “Kibbutz Galuyot (a term meaning “ingathering of the exiles”…the gene mixing answer again.) The sun…the water…”
Benji: “Do you have a message for America?”
Nivit: “We have a great country. Come and visit!”
And the capper:
Benji: “Do you want to come to my Seder?”
I don’t much remember how the following events happened but somewhere between this question and my leaving, she invited me to her parents’ house for Seder. Let me write that again: THE JEWISH MAXIM MODEL INVITED ME TO HER PASSOVER SEDER!!!
“Why is this night different from all other nights?”
Umm…I’ll give you one guess.
Hey, it’s no secret Israelis are the most hospitable people on the planet. Why should this one be any different? I gave her my card and told her she better not be kidding. Free dinner…kosher for Passover (eye) candy…four cups of wine??? I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY!!!
Regardless of how many people buy this special magazine issue, I can confidently say, mission accomplished: I’m convinced. This is the greatest country in the world. And if she doesn’t call? I’ll see you at the newsstand.
Good times at What War Zone???
Surviving the Family
Let’s be honest. Holiday time i.e. family time i.e. being around the family A LOT is great but it ain’t always pleasant. And in Israel, a whole heap of family time is about to unfurl.
First there’s Passover Seder. Then the Week of Passover. Then Maimouna. Then Independence Day. Aye, yay yay Karamba.
What do Israel’s mental health professionals advise for keeping it together during the Seder?
1) Know Who’s Coming. Because if you’re not getting along with aunt so and so, knowing she’ll be there will give time for mental prepping.
2) Arrange Seating. So there won’t be quibbling or awkward situations. Put name tags on plates. Seat parents next to small children, seat older kids with each other so they can have a good time and definitely don’t put feuding family members near each other.
3) Be on Hand to Greet. Warmly. As guests arrive. It makes them feel welcome.
4) Make Friends with Alcohol. It relaxes the mood and moves conversation. Serve a pre-dinner punch concoction
5) Plan Conversation Topics Ahead. So things don’t get stuck
6) In Case of an Argument..It’s the host’s job to cut it off at the pass. Tell both parties to STOP and remind them how hard you worked to put together the evening. No dice? Elicit help clearing or in the kitchen from one of the two to feuders.
7) Make the Table Festive
8) Decide Ahead who Will Help Serve and Clear..so not too many people are running between the table and kitchen
9) Serve the Gifts? If you received a food or beverage gift, open and share
10) Reduce Background Noise. Turn off t.v., radio, cellphones…If someone’s expecting a call from a relative abroad or a son in the army, have him/her take the call in the other room.
My Day with Maxim (Part I)
The classic guitar players will all tell you that they first picked up a guitar to meet girls. I can’t remember the first time I picked up a pen to write (and whether or not anyone would consider me a classic anything is up for debate) but I surely didn’t do so with the expectation of meeting any girls from it. I suppose any girls I’ve met from my time on Jdate are a result of my finely-crafted essays (or was it the gratuitous pic holding a baby?) but nothing in comparison to the incredibly hilarious and surreal experience I enjoyed yesterday morning as a lucky blogger.
If you hadn’t heard, several employees of Maxim Magazine headed to Israel this week for a photo shoot of Israeli models, all in the name of a new kind of Israeli hasbara (talking points: OUT; curvy women: IN! IN! IN!) Sponsored by Israel21C and Israel’s Foreign Ministry, this yet-to-be released issue threatens to either to generate no more waves than the average issue of Maxim, or cause the Jewish Agency and Nefesh B’Nefesh to dance in the streets due to the biggest aliyah since Russia opened its doors in the early 90s. I can just imagine this conversation:
Israeli Government Official: “Prime Minister, deh demo-grah-feex proh-blem eez no lohn-ger! Meel-yons of American Jews ahr choo-seeng to leev their lives een Israel!”
PM: “To waht do you aht-tree-bute dees? Anti-Semitism in deh Diaspora? Spirituality?”
IGO: “Ehhhhhhhhhh…..thong-eem???”
Be careful of Israeli women.
So sexy…yet so dangerous.
Between this and Hooters, it’s a good time to be an Israeli male. So when Israel21c Editorial Director David Brinn left me a message yesterday saying “Benji, I’m going to see the models, you might want to come too”…well, let’s just say I was excited. To put it into perspective, on the scale of “things that make your heart stop”, it ranked somewhere between “You just won the lottery!” and “Benji? It’s Aaron Spelling from the set of Melrose Place. We like your work and would love you to play the new romantic lead to Heather Locklear.”
When I arrived at the Hashalom train station to meet David and the staff, the possible scenarios were already running through my head: “Hey, baby…what’s your name? Come here often? Wanna play ‘Spin the Mezuzah’?” I met David and shmoozed for a minute until he pointed behind me and gestured “look!” A bikini-clad model stood on top of the ticket turnstiles, legs spread open. Suddenly, I felt an unexplainable urge to travel cross-country.
Next stop: my heart
Her name was Nivit Bash and for the next 30 minutes, I watched a photographer snap pictures, a light guy do something with light, a make-up girl do something with make-up, and so on. They were all very friendly and eager to visit Israel, almost all of whom were here for the first time. To my slight surprise, none of them expressed any hesitations or concerns despite Israel’s image in the media. I asked them what their biggest surprise was, what they enjoyed so far, what they thought of the nightlife, and of course, why Israelis are so hot. The answers included:
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“I follow the news but it didn’t keep me from coming. I’ve heard so much about this country and really wanted to visit. I’m blown away by it; I’m not afraid at all.”
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“It feels very Mediterranean but also Eastern, a real mix of cultures. And I’m looking forward to the game tonight!”
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As for the beauty…”They’re a mixture of cultures who are all so unique and different. People have arrived from 90 countries: Ethiopia, Russia, Europe, South America, North America…” That’s the standard explanation. Here was another: “They’re not as hung up as American girls. Their personality affects their beauty.” (Hey, I’m just the messenger.)
Here’s a shot of Nivit doing…WHO CARES??????????
Fortunately, I had some time to compose myself before meeting the model. Otherwise, this conversation might have happened.
Model: “My name eez Nivit Bash. What is yours?”
Benji: “Buh-dah-buh-goo-goo!”
This woman gets paid to rub cream on her stomach.
I really need a new job.
C’mon, Nefesh B’Nefesh career placement…hook a brotha up!
More pictures and details to come tomorrow including a surprise which, if realized, should leave tongues hanging across the Jewish world (or will at least impress of all my friends). Check back for Part II.
Like this? Check out What War Zone??? for more Israel goodness.
Building Bridges
Part of the mission over at MidEast Piece is to expand communication waves between gay men in the region.
So although “the piece” is based in Israel, on any given day web perusers may find entries from men in Egypt or Lebanon or ??? on their site. Think of Piece founders Matt & John as the MidEast’s answer to Welcome Wagon sans the home baked cookies. They meet, greet and invite gay men to blog.
The site’s latest guest appearance comes from Dubai’s ENVY (n.v.), who works for an ad agency.
…we first met ENVY when he posted a comment on Mideast Piece, proof that our blog is engaging gay guys throughout the region, even dudes based in countries officially at war with each other! (If only the UN could work this well…)
Were it that easy…
Dad’s View
Becoming a parent is a big deal. Strike that. Huge.
So it’s only natural for fresh-off-the-truck parents to begin viewing life in a different light.
Take Harry at the view from here. In the face of fatherhood, he has decided to lay down the law on a few issues…
As I lay down to go to sleep ideas jump into my mind. Rules of the household. I will share these with you as I continue on this wonderful journey of fatherhood.
As far as our family is concerned there is no Barney. He will be a non-entity in our household. There is no Barney…
“Onesie” is a word I can do without. I had never heard it before I entered Babyworld. Sounds like a word Rachel Ray would give to a disposable kitchen item…
More “fatherly decisions” here.
I second the Barney stance. But be forewarned: Barney will live at Tzofia’s friends’ homes. So she might beg/cajole for him post-exposure..Unless he’s completely passe by then.
JobSeek
Searching for a job – anywhere – can be frustrating. If you’re a newbie to Israel, there are language gaps, cultural differences and the salary cut – a biggie – to factor into the search.
Go Golan has come up with a short shortlist of jobseek advice for new immigrants prompted by…??? Maybe just his own goodwill. A sampling:
B) Benefits
Of course the salary at the bottom of the paycheck matters – even if it is a far cry from what the gross salary says a few lines above – but what I’ve come to learn is that in Israel you want to find a place that has good perks.For example, I went to Acco last month with my department, and everyday during lunch, I play ping pong for a good 30 minutes. Now, those are sweet benefits.
Yes, they are. As are company cars, travel perks, company arranged vacations and outings and…sky’s the limit. Happy hunting.
Adaptation
Filed under: A New Reality, Business, Immigrant Moments
Right around the turn of the century when the 2nd intifada (Palestinian uprising) went into full swing, Israel began opening gates to hordes of foreign workers to fill a void in the labor industry as the Palestinian workforce to Israel dropped off.
As a result, today’s guest worker count in Israel is about 10-11,000 strong including a sizeable population of Philippine nationals who largely toil in the private elder care sector.
I always find it interesting to hear a petite Asian woman (or man) rattle off a list (in Hebrew) to the supermarket meat counter guy or argue with her/his wheelchair bound client or utter in exasperation: “Oy, nu?”
So the other day, while eyeing some rather pricey knives at an upscale cookware store in Tel Aviv (think: Sur La Table on a crash diet), I enjoyed eavesdropping on a Hebrew conversation between the salesperson and a Filippina woman who had come in with half a dozen of her Filippina friends.
Filippina woman: Hi hi! How are you?
Saleswoman: Fine fine. You?
FW: Oh fine, thank God.
SW: How is Mrs. Goldberg?
FW: She’s playing bridge with the ladies. We all have a few hours off (laughter)
SW: Good for you. Send my regards.
FW: Remind me of your name again?
SW: Tzipporah
FW: Right. Tzipporah. Tzipporah? You know me, right?
SW: Of course
FW: So you’ll make me a good deal? And also a good deal for my friends?
SW: Of course. Of course.
Chuckle chuckle. Sounds Israeli to me.
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