A different way to look at things

March 1, 2007 - 10:10 AM by Avi

Love it or hate it — Israeli meddling. One of the things that bugs a lot of people when they come to Israel is that the stranger on the street or the cashier in the store are always willing to give out unsolicited advice — your child is too warm or cold, why aren’t you wearing a jacket, or whatever else. It’s like they are family members instead of strangers (well, in some ways maybe they are). I just received this story via the Partners in Kindness mailing list and I thought it was worth sharing:

I moved to Israel approximately one and a half years ago from Canada. One of the things I began to notice was that everybody seemed to be giving me advice about my baby when I was out in public. “He’s hot”, “He’s cold”, “Can’t you see he’s hungry?” One woman even came up to me while I was nursing and gave me advice on how long to nurse the baby. I was beginning to wish everybody would mind their own business.

My feelings changed one day while I was in the supermarket with my four boys. I was feeling stressed because I had a short amount of time to get the car back so that my husband could leave for work on time. I was rushing to get my shopping done quickly when the baby began to cry.

Within seconds a woman came up to me and said “It seems to me that your baby is hungry. Would you like me to watch your other children while you nurse him?” I replied “I really don’t have time to nurse him as I have only fifteen minutes to finish my shopping to get the car home in time for my husband to leave for work.”

She said, “In that case, let me hold your baby while you finish your shopping.” For the next ten minutes a total stranger lovingly held my baby while I picked out the groceries, paid for them and packed them in the cart.

I explained to her that I took all the children out together so that my husband could get some sleep before he started his night shift. When I was done, I said to her, “You are a tzadekes (a righteous woman). You have no idea how much you’ve helped me.”

She replied “First of all, it is you who are the tzadekes, taking out four small boys grocery shopping so that your husband can get some sleep.”

Then with a smile she said “Secondly, I have seven children, so I have an idea how much I helped you.”

After that day I realized that the unsolicited advice I was getting from the people of Israel was their way of showing that they care about my baby.