Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

March 11, 2007 - 3:00 PM by

..or at least who flew in this morning for a wee visit? (says Israeli press)

Why none other than Bar and Leo. And rumor has it that this is Mr. DiCaprio’s first visit to Israel!

I say we ALL extend a grand WELCOME so that the Big D comes back to visit real soon.

In that spirit, I offer a list of no-no’s to adhere to until Leo gets back on the plane to L.A.:

1) No arguing or raised voices in public. Like your mother taught you: Don’t air dirty laundry.
2) No cutting in the bank line PARTICULARLY if Mr. DiCaprio is waiting to exchange his hard-earned dollars. I don’t care if you “just went over there for a minute”.
3) No discussing nuclear war, the wall, last summer’s war or this year’s Eurovision song contest entry while cafe sitting. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything. Suggested topics: Re-Decorating the House & Shopping.
4) No sexist, racist, religious or culturally deprecating slurs. Are we not a democracy striving for egalitariansim? Show Leo we’re ALL THAT and more.
5) No making that intake of air sound through pursed lips that supposedly indicates admiration when Bar is on Leo’s arm. Okay so she’s hot. But he or his bodyguards might deck you for showing it.
6) No bargaining. Do they bargain at Versace or Gucci? I think not. Show Mr. D. we’ve got class.
7) Don’t ask him how much he earns, what his assets are or how much he has in the bank. Just don’t.
8) If you hated Blood Diamond or The Beach, for Pete’s sake, keep it to yourself!
9) Don’t ask Leo if he knows your cousin in Los Angeles. He doesn’t. Unless your cousin is Arnon Milchan
10) Don’t invite him for Passover. He & Bar already have other plans.

Tags: • Category: Life, Pop Culture 

Comments

One Comment on Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

  1. Elli on Sun, Mar 11th 2007 8:11 PM

    2. Hehe…this is terrific! I love it….very funny! I hope, Leo likes it in Israel and will come back there. I loved it when I visited in the 80s….and I’ll surely come back one day.
    Elli

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