Mothering

March 19, 2007 - 3:00 PM by Stephanie

My 5-year-old son goes to a Tel Aviv kindergarten with 32 other kids. He has been in the Israeli school system a year and a half – since we moved here from San Francisco.

His first year in Israel he struggled with culture and language gaps, geographical differences and a general longing for the familiar.

This year he feels more grounded and is excelling socially. But his kindergarten teacher recommends he stay back a year. Because she says he is somewhat immature emotionally and she also feels that his language skills won’t suffice through full days of 1st grade challenges (in Hebrew).

Coming from the American culture of “push push push, go go go!”, I at first rebelled internally against the teacher’s recommendation. But then I began consulting with other mothers & former and current teachers and my resolve softened.

I kept hearing from other mothers: “Keep him back! Let him play for one more year. Don’t push him.” What is this? I wondered. Laziness? Why don’t they favor forward movement?

And then one mother voiced what I suspected might be behind the seeming slacker mentality.

Are you in a hurry for him to go to the army? Let him stay back a year!

And there it was. Something we all think about. It may be 13 years off in the horizon but it’s there in our collective thoughts.

Because just maybe, as is the popular suggestion handed down from parents to children for decades, there will be peace in my child’s lifetime and he won’t have to go into the army. So why not give the opportunity for peace an extra year?

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Tags: • Category: Life, Politics, War

Comments

4 Comments on Mothering

Rafi G on Mon, Mar 19th 2007 3:11 PM

We have noticed this difference between Anglos and Israelis. Anglos (specifically Americans, I do not know if it applies to other anglos) want their kids to advance through school quicker as it is a sign of maturity and intellectual capacity and achievement. If you skip a grade it means you are smart.
Israelis try to hold their kids back. Spend an extra year in gan before first grade…

David on Mon, Mar 19th 2007 8:52 PM

Amen…
we kept our son in kindergarten an extra year this year, for learning reasons, but the idea of him going in the army a year later certainly didn’t hinder the decision.

Imshin on Mon, Mar 19th 2007 9:09 PM

Many mothers I know are just as willing to keep their daughters for another year in kindergarten, and daughters are far less likely to be in combat units.

Why look for ulterior motives? There really is no rush. Better that they reach school ready and able to do what is required of them there.

Stephanie on Tue, Mar 20th 2007 6:06 AM

Not saying this is THE definitive reason mothers keep kids behind. It’s there, however. I come from a different culture and mindset which is much less about keeping a kid back.

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