My Day with Maxim (Part I)

March 29, 2007 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: General 

The classic guitar players will all tell you that they first picked up a guitar to meet girls. I can’t remember the first time I picked up a pen to write (and whether or not anyone would consider me a classic anything is up for debate) but I surely didn’t do so with the expectation of meeting any girls from it. I suppose any girls I’ve met from my time on Jdate are a result of my finely-crafted essays (or was it the gratuitous pic holding a baby?) but nothing in comparison to the incredibly hilarious and surreal experience I enjoyed yesterday morning as a lucky blogger. 

If you hadn’t heard, several employees of Maxim Magazine headed to Israel this week for a photo shoot of Israeli models, all in the name of a new kind of Israeli hasbara (talking points: OUT; curvy women: IN! IN! IN!)  Sponsored by Israel21C and Israel’s Foreign Ministry, this yet-to-be released issue threatens to either to generate no more waves than the average issue of Maxim, or cause the Jewish Agency and Nefesh B’Nefesh to dance in the streets due to the biggest aliyah since Russia opened its doors in the early 90s.  I can just imagine this conversation:

Israeli Government Official:  “Prime Minister, deh demo-grah-feex proh-blem eez no lohn-ger!  Meel-yons of American Jews ahr choo-seeng to leev their lives een Israel!”

PM:  “To waht do you aht-tree-bute dees?  Anti-Semitism in deh Diaspora?  Spirituality?”

IGO:  “Ehhhhhhhhhh…..thong-eem???”

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Be careful of Israeli women.
So sexy…yet so dangerous.

Between this and Hooters, it’s a good time to be an Israeli male.  So when Israel21c Editorial Director David Brinn left me a message yesterday saying “Benji, I’m going to see the models, you might want to come too”…well, let’s just say I was excited.  To put it into perspective, on the scale of “things that make your heart stop”, it ranked somewhere between “You just won the lottery!” and “Benji?  It’s Aaron Spelling from the set of Melrose Place.  We like your work and would love you to play the new romantic lead to Heather Locklear.”

When I arrived at the Hashalom train station to meet David and the staff, the possible scenarios were already running through my head:  “Hey, baby…what’s your name?  Come here often?  Wanna play ‘Spin the Mezuzah’?”  I met David and shmoozed for a minute until he pointed behind me and gestured “look!”  A bikini-clad model stood on top of the ticket turnstiles, legs spread open.  Suddenly, I felt an unexplainable urge to travel cross-country. 

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Next stop:  my heart

Her name was Nivit Bash and for the next 30 minutes, I watched a photographer snap pictures, a light guy do something with light, a make-up girl do something with make-up, and so on.  They were all very friendly and eager to visit Israel, almost all of whom were here for the first time.  To my slight surprise, none of them expressed any hesitations or concerns despite Israel’s image in the media.  I asked them what their biggest surprise was, what they enjoyed so far, what they thought of the nightlife, and of course, why Israelis are so hot.  The answers included:

  • “I follow the news but it didn’t keep me from coming.  I’ve heard so much about this country and really wanted to visit.  I’m blown away by it; I’m not afraid at all.”
  • “It feels very Mediterranean but also Eastern, a real mix of cultures.  And I’m looking forward to the game tonight!” 
  • As for the beauty…”They’re a mixture of cultures who are all so unique and different.  People have arrived from 90 countries:  Ethiopia, Russia, Europe, South America, North America…”  That’s the standard explanation.  Here was another:  “They’re not as hung up as American girls.  Their personality affects their beauty.”  (Hey, I’m just the messenger.)

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Here’s a shot of Nivit doing…WHO CARES??????????

Fortunately, I had some time to compose myself before meeting the model.  Otherwise, this conversation might have happened.

Model:  “My name eez Nivit Bash. What is yours?”

Benji:  “Buh-dah-buh-goo-goo!” 

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This woman gets paid to rub cream on her stomach.
I really need a new job.
C’mon, Nefesh B’Nefesh career placement…hook a brotha up!

More pictures and details to come tomorrow including a surprise which, if realized, should leave tongues hanging across the Jewish world (or will at least impress of all my friends).  Check back for Part II. 

Like this?  Check out What War Zone??? for more Israel goodness.

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Building Bridges

March 29, 2007 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Blogging, Life 

Part of the mission over at MidEast Piece is to expand communication waves between gay men in the region.

So although “the piece” is based in Israel, on any given day web perusers may find entries from men in Egypt or Lebanon or ??? on their site. Think of Piece founders Matt & John as the MidEast’s answer to Welcome Wagon sans the home baked cookies. They meet, greet and invite gay men to blog.

The site’s latest guest appearance comes from Dubai’s ENVY (n.v.), who works for an ad agency.

…we first met ENVY when he posted a comment on Mideast Piece, proof that our blog is engaging gay guys throughout the region, even dudes based in countries officially at war with each other! (If only the UN could work this well…)

Were it that easy…

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Dad’s View

March 29, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Blogging, Life 

Becoming a parent is a big deal. Strike that. Huge.

So it’s only natural for fresh-off-the-truck parents to begin viewing life in a different light.

Take Harry at the view from here. In the face of fatherhood, he has decided to lay down the law on a few issues…

As I lay down to go to sleep ideas jump into my mind. Rules of the household. I will share these with you as I continue on this wonderful journey of fatherhood.

As far as our family is concerned there is no Barney. He will be a non-entity in our household. There is no Barney…

“Onesie” is a word I can do without. I had never heard it before I entered Babyworld. Sounds like a word Rachel Ray would give to a disposable kitchen item…

More “fatherly decisions” here.

I second the Barney stance. But be forewarned: Barney will live at Tzofia’s friends’ homes. So she might beg/cajole for him post-exposure..Unless he’s completely passe by then.

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JobSeek

March 29, 2007 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Business, Immigrant Moments, Life 

Searching for a job – anywhere – can be frustrating. If you’re a newbie to Israel, there are language gaps, cultural differences and the salary cut – a biggie – to factor into the search.

Go Golan has come up with a short shortlist of jobseek advice for new immigrants prompted by…??? Maybe just his own goodwill. A sampling:

B) Benefits
Of course the salary at the bottom of the paycheck matters – even if it is a far cry from what the gross salary says a few lines above – but what I’ve come to learn is that in Israel you want to find a place that has good perks.

For example, I went to Acco last month with my department, and everyday during lunch, I play ping pong for a good 30 minutes. Now, those are sweet benefits.

Yes, they are. As are company cars, travel perks, company arranged vacations and outings and…sky’s the limit. Happy hunting.

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Adaptation

March 29, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Business, Immigrant Moments 

Right around the turn of the century when the 2nd intifada (Palestinian uprising) went into full swing, Israel began opening gates to hordes of foreign workers to fill a void in the labor industry as the Palestinian workforce to Israel dropped off.

As a result, today’s guest worker count in Israel is about 10-11,000 strong including a sizeable population of Philippine nationals who largely toil in the private elder care sector.

I always find it interesting to hear a petite Asian woman (or man) rattle off a list (in Hebrew) to the supermarket meat counter guy or argue with her/his wheelchair bound client or utter in exasperation: “Oy, nu?”

So the other day, while eyeing some rather pricey knives at an upscale cookware store in Tel Aviv (think: Sur La Table on a crash diet), I enjoyed eavesdropping on a Hebrew conversation between the salesperson and a Filippina woman who had come in with half a dozen of her Filippina friends.

Filippina woman: Hi hi! How are you?
Saleswoman: Fine fine. You?
FW: Oh fine, thank God.
SW: How is Mrs. Goldberg?
FW: She’s playing bridge with the ladies. We all have a few hours off (laughter)
SW: Good for you. Send my regards.
FW: Remind me of your name again?
SW: Tzipporah
FW: Right. Tzipporah. Tzipporah? You know me, right?
SW: Of course
FW: So you’ll make me a good deal? And also a good deal for my friends?
SW: Of course. Of course.

Chuckle chuckle. Sounds Israeli to me.

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