Local Lifeguards

May 21, 2007 - 2:00 PM by Stephanie

I like going to the beach. So much so that years ago, when Tel Aviv’s Hilton Beach was my home away from home, I checked into mortgaging “my” spot of sand beside the lifeguard tower. Syke.

Ahhhh…Israeli lifeguards. You could write a book. They sit on porch-fronts of wooden towers facing the sea watching people frolic day in and out. You don’t even know they’re up there on calm sea days. But get an undertow or high tide going and oops! There they are! Barking non-stop at swimmers through their megaphones.

“Move away from the breakers!” “Hey you in the white swimsuit, did you hear me?” “Okay that’s it. All three of you come over here to the lifeguard tower right now”.

Standard stuff. Except when it’s not standard. Which is the constant stream in-between the standard stream. Because…gee i dunno. It’s Israel and the rules don’t apply? Or they know they won’t get sued for poking fun or being rude? Or because it keeps boredom at bay?

“Hey parents! Where are you? This is not your bathtub. I am not your babysitter. Does that kid in the blue even have a parent here?” or “All of you move away from the breakers. That goes for you, too, Mahatma Gandhi” or “Gina! Where have you been all morning? Come over to the tower and we’ll have coffee! I dreamed about you last night.”

-i swear-

At least it keeps the crowds entertained, eh?

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