Funny Funnies

June 18, 2007 - 2:00 PM by Stephanie

Shai & Dror, Maariv Hebrew print newspaper columnists, are always good for a humorous take on the goings-on in Israel and thereabouts.

Last week, their column addressed newsworthy topics including Shimon Peres’ presidential appointment, the Ofek spy satellite launch and Hamas.

A few choice bits taken from their column, “Not Overheard This Week”:

- Fine. I’ll see you in seven years…Sonia Peres, refusing to move with Shimon to the official presidential residence

- They’ll annihilate us but we’ll know about it two minutes before it happens. We’ll have two minutes to get ready.... Inventor of the launched Ofek spy satellite on the satellite’s benefits in lieu of the Iranian threat

- I’ll boycott them too! I won’t buy a Jaguar. That’s it. They can kiss my money goodbye. Now I have a reason not to buy a Jaguar. It’s not because I don’t have the money.…Israeli taking revenge on the British for the academic boycott

- What? I go into Cellcom with my mustache and all and say: ‘Ahalan, Ahalan. I want to buy a mobile phone. My name is Oshrat – I’m a Western woman and I want to buy a cellphone’…? ….Hamas activist attempting to clarify an organizational general directive advising members to adhere to caution when using mobile phones and to purchase them under fictitious Western female pseudonyms

- Hello Cellcom? Has the Nokia 6280 come out yet? I want to trade in my model…Yes, it’s Oshrat the Western woman. I want to trade in my phone. I know I traded the other one in a week ago but I have to do it again….Hamas activist following organization directive to switch cellphones twice per month

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