Arrangements

July 19, 2007 - 11:30 AM by Stephanie

Arranged Marriage. Yes, in this day and age. Among intelligent and educated people. Yes, it has benefits. And problems. And presents dilemmas.

A Mother In Israel blogged about a recent dilemma she happened upon in the Rebbetzin’s column of Hineni’s website.

The conundrum was presented by parents of a boy who takes meds for a bi-polar condition. They wanted to know if they are obliged to let an intended bride to be know. There’s an assortment of reasons presented for their confusion, including fearing a leak of the boy’s condition within the orthodox Jewish community and the bride’s family nixing the arrangement altogether once they learn the truth.

The father says the drugs “keep things under control” so no need to give out personal information. The mother feels otherwise.

Although Hineni’s Rebbetzin has yet to address the question, A Mother presents wise considerations, including her note that the father is not realistic. Body chemistry changes, meds need to be adjusted and sometimes people quit their meds “just because”…

And…

How would they feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Would they want parents of a potential shidduch for one of their younger, healthy children to hide such information?

Read “Hiding Mental Illness” for the full score…

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