Holidays & Single

September 2, 2007 - 7:30 AM by

School starts today countrywide – a welcome relief for several parent blogger types in these here parts.

There’s the back-to-routine, building new routines, drop off, pick up, activities, schedules and the running and going that comes with the school year start.

In two weeks, it’ll grind to a halt for the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur. More holiday time. Gifts to buy, meals to prepare, friends to see, travel plans to be made, family gatherings to attend. If you’re in the country amongst parents, spouses, children or extended family, you have a built-in holiday “team”.

But for the single people out there, especially those without immediate family members in Israel, the picture may not look altogether enticing.

The holidays are supposed to be about renewal of one’s relationship with the ineffable and, less sublimely, about being with your family and the people you love. But after 11 years of the holidays as a single adult, I dread Tishrei’s approach with increasing intensity each year.

Try as I might to focus on recognizing God’s dominion, on being grateful for all He’s given me, and to devoting myself to working on the myriad ways I need to improve myself, sadness creeps in. And, to be honest, embarrassment.

….Another year has passed and I am still alone. Again, I will walk into shul and take inventory of how other people’s lives have moved forward, which couples have outgrown their snug Jerusalem apartments, which girls nearly a decade younger are now on their second or third kid. And I will feel conspicuous. Perhaps I am being paranoid, but I will feel embarrassed when I see something looking like compassion in people’s eyes when they speak to me. I’ll hear their thoughts: “Still not married.” And I’ll try to smile graciously when one or two well-meaning semi-strangers intone meaningfully that they hope that “this year will be the one.”

Season of Isolation, from aish.com dating, resonated with writer/teacher/blogger Sarah and she linked to it. So we’re doing the same.

Tags: • Category: Blogging, Holidays, Life 

Comments

2 Comments on Holidays & Single

  1. David-Joe on Mon, Sep 3rd 2007 3:10 PM

    2. I do not think success is measured by how many kids have been bred and definitely not by being married.

    One day society may evolve to a point beyond such narrow thinking.

  2. Stephanie on Mon, Sep 3rd 2007 8:24 PM

    3. I am with you on that one, DJ, 100%…WAAAAAYYYY too much pressure in that direction and too many messages we get telling us we’re not okay if we don’t fill a child and marriage quota.

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