Holidays & Single

September 2, 2007 by Stephanie · 2 Comments
Filed under: Blogging, Holidays, Life

School starts today countrywide – a welcome relief for several parent blogger types in these here parts.

There’s the back-to-routine, building new routines, drop off, pick up, activities, schedules and the running and going that comes with the school year start.

In two weeks, it’ll grind to a halt for the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur. More holiday time. Gifts to buy, meals to prepare, friends to see, travel plans to be made, family gatherings to attend. If you’re in the country amongst parents, spouses, children or extended family, you have a built-in holiday “team”.

But for the single people out there, especially those without immediate family members in Israel, the picture may not look altogether enticing.

The holidays are supposed to be about renewal of one’s relationship with the ineffable and, less sublimely, about being with your family and the people you love. But after 11 years of the holidays as a single adult, I dread Tishrei’s approach with increasing intensity each year.

Try as I might to focus on recognizing God’s dominion, on being grateful for all He’s given me, and to devoting myself to working on the myriad ways I need to improve myself, sadness creeps in. And, to be honest, embarrassment.

….Another year has passed and I am still alone. Again, I will walk into shul and take inventory of how other people’s lives have moved forward, which couples have outgrown their snug Jerusalem apartments, which girls nearly a decade younger are now on their second or third kid. And I will feel conspicuous. Perhaps I am being paranoid, but I will feel embarrassed when I see something looking like compassion in people’s eyes when they speak to me. I’ll hear their thoughts: “Still not married.” And I’ll try to smile graciously when one or two well-meaning semi-strangers intone meaningfully that they hope that “this year will be the one.”

Season of Isolation, from aish.com dating, resonated with writer/teacher/blogger Sarah and she linked to it. So we’re doing the same.

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Kosher Computers

September 1, 2007 by Stephanie · 1 Comment
Filed under: Life, Technology

Never dis family members when it comes to finding rich sources of material. Thanks, Aunt Babe, for this one:

You can now purchase Kosher computers!

They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is low even with the shipping from Israel!

However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to such as:

1) The “Start” button has been replaced with the “Let’s go!! I’m not getting any younger!” button.

2) You hear “Hava Nagila” during startup.

3) The cursor moves from right to left.

4) When Spell-check finds an error it prompts “Is this the best you can do?”

5) When you look at erotic images your computer says “If your mother knew you did this she would die.”

6) It comes with a “monitor cleaning solution” from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the “schmutz und drek.”

7) When running “Scan Disk” it prompts you with a “You want I should fix this?” message.

8) After 20 minutes of no activity your PC goes “Schloffen.”

9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

10) It comes with two hard drives – one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games)

11) Instead of getting a “General Protection Fault” error your PC now gets “Ferklempt.”

12) The multimedia player has been renamed to “Nu, so play my music already!” corner.

13) When your PC is working too hard you occasionally hear a loud “Oy Gevalt!”

14) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.

15) When disconnecting external devices you are instructed to “Remove the cable from the PC’s tuchus.”

16) After your computer dies you have to dispose of it within 24 hours.

17) Best of all: if you have a kosher computer you can’t get SPAM!

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