“You Leave Ah-mehr-ica?? Are You Stoo-peed???”

December 6, 2007 - 1:37 PM by

So it’s been about 16 months since I made aliyah. As in any move, there have been ups and downs but overall, things have been great. And they better be great because any oleh chadash (new immigrant) can expect to answer questions like “so ehhh….why you deed aliyah?” about 400,000 times. When he/she would Joe Israeli would ask me this, I used to say something to the effect of

“Well, I came on a six-week trip when I was fifteen and just fell in love with this place. Whenever I would visit, something inside me felt alive and until I gave living here a shot, I knew there would always be a hole in my Jewish identity. In one word? Zionism.”

It’s right around that time that his eyes start to roll to the back of his head and he looks like a robot who someone just poured water on. So now I stick to the second answer: “I lost a bet.” It’s more fun to confuse them.

confused.jpg
The average Israeli when I explain why I decided to uproot myself
and build a new life in this country.

I’ve also learned that there’s a big difference in what Israelis say to you before you move to Israel…and AFTER. Before? Everything’s roses! “Why you not leev here? Eet’s greeeeat! Byoo-tee-fool beaches! Byoo-tee-fool WEE-men! (wink wink) Ayn makom acher! (There is no other place.)”

After?

“What ahr you, CRAY-ZEE??? I have cousin in New York, he eez meel-yon-air!!!” Hey, what happened to the first guy? “Oh, he move to New Jehr-zee…he work at mall, making lots of mah-nee.”

This place makes me laugh.

Tags: • Category: General 

Comments

4 Comments on “You Leave Ah-mehr-ica?? Are You Stoo-peed???”

  1. Gliker on Thu, Dec 6th 2007 7:03 PM

    2. The problem is many Israelis truly believe that we in the US, wipe our behinds with hundred dollar bills while defacating on gold commodes.

    Crazy.

  2. Stephanie on Sat, Dec 8th 2007 7:40 AM

    3. OMG! My grandmother (maa-maw) used to use the word “commode”…!!!

  3. David-Joe on Mon, Dec 10th 2007 3:23 AM

    4. I have lived in NY for 12 years and I intend to return to Israel in the next 2 years. It has been a wonderful experience.

    Nevertheless, I also see Americans that are Jewish not living in the same freedom that we Israelis do in Israel.

    The difference in living in a place and knowing that you “own it”, that the soil you hold in your hand cannot be taken away, is profound. The culture that surrounds you is what you are, makes a difference.

    And Tel Aviv is still better than NYC.

  4. Dave on Fri, Dec 14th 2007 7:35 AM

    5. David-Joe: Don’t count on “the soil [I] hold in [my] hand cannot be taken away.” The loons in UN are working on doing just that. I hope they fail, but after the Muslims take over Europe, it will be a walk in the park. Good luck!

Leave a Comment





© 2012 ISRAELITY | Sitemap