Eye on Miami

March 3, 2008 - 6:00 PM by

If you’re not from Miami and you don’t visit often then chances are you didn’t know this bit of trivia:

One of the city’s prominent buildings is its Federal Prison right smack in the middle of downtown.

Well there’s a good reason to shop uptown, hmmm?

It’s A-okay, Roger. They’re all on the inside. (sure sure sure)

Anyhewwww, guess who wants to copy the building plan Miami’s got?

Doing up prisons Miami-Middle-East style, that’s what we’re talkin’ ’bout here in Israel.

Israel’s Internal Security and Prison Authority are eyeballing the blueprints outta Florida with sights set on erecting a multi-story facility just like the Bureau of Prisons’ Federal Detention Center in Miami.

For starters, it’ll enhance efficiency: courts, police interrogation and legal offices on the lower levels. Cells and prisoners on the “penthouse” upper floors.

“Going up? Oh thanks. Yes, please, if you don’t mind. 9th floor. Thanks. Me? Heavens no. Of course not! Just visiting. Guest Pass. Collect $200 Pass Go. Heh heh. Yes they ARE nice bracelets, aren’t they? They’re all the rage. Very trendy. Kind of clunky, I know. But I hear they’re imported from Miami.”

Also, it’ll cut down on the number of prisons Israel needs to man, staff and supervise. The multi-story high rise will absorb prisoners from six (!) facilities i.e. 4,000-men & women. Just think of it: All condensed under the same roof! Now that’s a helluva alphabet soup!

Fun fun fun. Don’t get me started on the fun-house scenario of a potential outbreak.

Isn’t modernization great?

Look for a groundbreaking party coming to your neighborhood soon!

Tags: • Category: A New Reality, Business, Crime, Israeliness, Technology 

Comments

3 Comments on Eye on Miami

  1. J on Mon, Mar 3rd 2008 10:24 PM

    2. I lover your site but the federal prison is nowhere near miami’s tallest building. There are all kinds of buildings that dwarf it in size. The cylincrical Bank of America Building downtown (and several other BOA buildings). The Espirito Santo Plaza building. The Four Season Building. The Wachovia Building. The list goes on and on. You may wish to correct your information. A simple google earth search will show the silliness of your statement.

  2. Stephanie on Tue, Mar 4th 2008 7:08 AM

    3. J, I stand corrected and thanks for pointing out the error. My “silliness” stems stems from copying the Hebrew paper that made the assertion without 1) checking it out myself or 2) attributing it to the paper…

  3. geinusofdespair on Sun, May 18th 2008 6:39 AM

    4. Couldn’t help but notice “Eye on Miami”

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