Single, Jewish, PANIC!

April 1, 2008 - 3:15 PM by Stephanie

What current trends are showing up in Jewish dating circles? What’s happening statistic-wise on the Jewish interfaith coupling and marriage scene? What are “Singles on the Street” reporting?

Writer Sarah Bronson lends an informative view of the Jewish Singles Scene in her story “The Missing Piece” in today’s World Jewish Digest. A sampling:

What is commonly referred to as the Jewish “singles crisis,” and in Orthodox communities as the “shidduch crisis,” appears to affect women more drastically than men, both practically and emotionally. Both statistical and anecdotal evidence provided by sociologists, matchmakers, lay leaders and singles themselves paints a picture of a dating scene in which many more women than men attend Jewish singles events; more women actively use Jewish dating sites; matchmakers are flooded with applications from women; and single Jewish women in their late 20’s and 30’s are panicking.

As well they should be, sociologists say. As difficult as the “dating scene” can be for many men, it is often more challenging for the fairer sex, especially in the Jewish community. Jewish women, particularly Orthodox ones, are even more likely than non-Jewish women to be caught in the “age squeeze,” the phenomenon of women in their 20’s who think they have plenty of time to get married, only to discover in their 30’s that men their age prefer to date younger women. What’s more, highly educated and professionally accomplished Jewish women have a harder time finding mates because their achievements and success can be intimidating to potential partners.

Tags: • Category: A New Reality, History and Culture, Life, Pop Culture 

Comments

9 Comments on Single, Jewish, PANIC!

  1. David-Joe on Wed, Apr 2nd 2008 12:18 PM

    2. The truth?

    Jewish women in America are raised with “high standaeds” and by this I refer to not even looking at a man unless he is a university educated, professional, has a “status” type of occupation and is making lots of money and is a typical sort of “diaspora guy”.

    So excuse me if I have no sympathy for these women.

  2. Benji Lovitt on Wed, Apr 2nd 2008 1:40 PM

    3. That’s preposterous. Men deserve the women they end up with. Don’t indict millions of people.

  3. David-Joe on Thu, Apr 3rd 2008 1:11 AM

    4. I am not indicting anyone, but merely stating that American Jewish women have a picture of the man they want that is very specific so when there are complaints about a lack of Jewish men they should hold themselves responsible..

    Fortunately there are also Israeli women and Russian Jewish women who by and large are different.

  4. Benji Lovitt on Thu, Apr 3rd 2008 8:20 AM

    5. There are as many American Jewish men with issues equal in size to the women.

  5. Dave Faulkmore (Tokyo, Japan) on Mon, Apr 7th 2008 11:28 AM

    6. What does a matchmaker do afterall? Same as a recruiter. They collect quality information on everyone they come into contact with. What is the difference between a recruiter and Shmuel average on the street? Recruiters put more time into gathering quality information. So if Jewish women are having trouble hooking up with Jewish men then a suggestion is for Jewish women to put some more effort into collecting quality information and possibly become a matchmaker themselves.

    As David-Joe points out, getting results depends on overcoming the “type” barrier. If you have five real Jewish guys to choose from don’t hold out until the fantasy/phantom guy materializes. Choose one of the five. Over time, the “type” issue will simply fade away in obsolessence where it belongs…

    So for example, if a partner search is based on the criteria of money or status then the end relationship may not necessarily be a relationship between two people. Just a relationship of a desire for certain criteria. A relation in abstract, but not in substance.

    Better for women to focus on finding a partner and then fulfilling that partner’s needs rather then “shopping around” trying to fulfill her criteria for Mr. Right.

    Also Benji Lovitt, please point out those guys that can’t find a woman. Are you including men over 55 and boys under 15 into this “troubled” group hahaha… So as you can see i’m a little sceptical…

  6. Ivan Goldman on Sun, May 11th 2008 10:28 PM

    7. They deserve all they get, they so selective, it’s like a flea market outthere … let them feel guilty for all i like, feminism has brought nothing but misery and lament for all the good jewish men outhere in the west … Next thing u know, they’ll be converting to something else coz the men they like are of dif. religion. Their mothers outhere need to remind them how the world works sometimes …

  7. Tanya on Fri, Jun 20th 2008 1:25 AM

    8. you are cruel!!! You have no idea how our jewish men behave-sometimes I feel so cursed that I can only restrict my search to short and snobby greedy men who happen to be jewish!

  8. Tanya on Fri, Jun 20th 2008 1:26 AM

    9. does anyone know how to find a good matchmaker?

  9. Dave Faulkmore on Wed, Jul 9th 2008 12:18 PM

    10. Reply to Tanya…
    All the dating sites i’ve ever seen, their main goal is to earn money or at least try to charge money. Never seen a site focused on using matchmakers to make matches for other people or turning people into matchmakers. The focus can be building bigger networks (i.e. social networking site) or earning money from event organizing not the matchmaking.

    I’m working on such a service. Few issues…
    * Live in Japan, not US or Israel
    * Things take time to get ready for introducing to market.

    And btw both Jewish men and women behave badly. The trick is to focus on making matches regardless of these obvious obsticles. If you are OK with banging our collective heads against a wall then we can go ahead and do that knowing the less than favorable likely results. Try to focus more on the process rather than the goal because the ultimate goal is death. In this case, don’t be an overachiever….

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