Dressed to Kill

April 10, 2008 - 12:00 PM by

Our favorite funny man Benji has a column in Atlanta’s Jewish Lifestyle Magazine Julep & this time around he’s giving tips on dressing like an Israeli.

With the warm weather quickly approaching, here’s a quick idiot’s guide to dressing like an Israeli male:

* Step 1: Shave head.
* Step 2: Grow four days’ worth of scruff. Not three. Not five. Israeli men possess the talent of always appearing as if they just returned from their six-month post-army tiyul (hike) in India. Man, they’re hot.
* Step 3: Put on at least one of the following articles of clothing:
o Baggy Thai fisherman’s pants (never, ever shorts) or tight European jeans.
o Flip-flops.
o T-shirt with English words that are inappropriate, make no sense or are sexually suggestive. (Seriously, people here are obsessed with English and put on articles of clothing with complete cluelessness about what they say. I saw a Russian grandmother wearing a shirt that said “Pimping Ain’t Easy.” Well, not with a walker it ain’t, grandma! These are your golden years! Take a load off!)
* Step 4: Dressed? Great — I’ll see you at the beach. Or office.

Thanks, BL. Head to Julep or Benji’s website for more…

Tags: • Category: A New Reality, Blogging, Immigrant Moments, Israeliness, Pop Culture 

Comments

4 Comments on Dressed to Kill

  1. David-Joe on Fri, Apr 11th 2008 5:00 AM

    2. Pimping, in ” ‘hood new yorkese” does not refer to the orthodox definition……. “Yo, pai-nig”! Get it homey?

    :-]

  2. Stephanie on Fri, Apr 11th 2008 5:15 AM

    3. D.J: i.e. make good on your debt? I also always thought of “pimping”, in addition the the connotation we all know, as “working it” or going out and doing business, as it were

  3. Abby on Mon, Apr 14th 2008 3:52 PM

    4. So true! I once saw a haredi girl wearing a shirt that read “SLUT.” She clearly had no clue. But it’s the guys who wear the most outrageous ones. Also, don’t forget the rimless glasses (for T.A. exec types) and the diamond stud.

  4. jk on Sat, Oct 30th 2010 11:33 AM

    5. Abby

    hahahahah

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