High holiday woes

September 29, 2009 - 1:09 PM by Jessica

israel_yom_kippur_400I’ve spent the last two weeks alternately pining for and cursing my husband, who like many educated Jewish men with good voices and/or rabbinical ordination, spent Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in the U.S., making some useful U.S. dollars in exchange for — in his case — working as a shliach tzibbur for the high holidays in a small New Jersey congregation.

This year’s gig offer came late in the season, as a friend decided not to take the job because of personal reasons. We also have plenty of personal reasons, including my two stepdaughters and nearly year-old twins, as well as mothers, siblings, nieces and nephews, all of whom benefit when our family unit is intact. But the financial reasons ended up outweighing the personal ones, because it’s hard to argue with an influx of cash during ‘these troubling economic times.’

So I said goodbye to Daniel a few days before Rosh Hashana, and shored up my own preparations. We headed out to my brother’s for Rosh Hashana, loading up the car with a load of gear. When it came to Yom Kippur, I couldn’t face the same kind of trip, and decided to stay home.

But remembering something my mother used to do with me 40-odd years ago, I decided to find a babysitter for the boys on Yom Kippur, so that I could do some of my own praying. And get out of the house. Of course, that’s easier said than done in a city like Jerusalem, where most people are either going to be in shul, or bicycle riding down the empty city streets. Anyway, you can’t really ask a fellow Jew to stay home from shul on Yom Kippur, even if they’re not planning on praying.

Instead, I asked our two Sri Lankan cleaning ladies, Renuka and Hindu, if they’d be interested in helping me out for a few hours. Given that they play with my boys each week when they’re at our house, as well as have some five children between them, I knew they’d be fine babysitters. And they were.

The moment that gave me pause was when Renuka asked me where my husband was, given that it’s the holiday season. I explained that he was working in the States, making some extra money. As I was speaking, I thought to myself that Renuka must think we’re crazy, to want extra money when we clearly live comfortably, in a lovely home, and affording babysitters and cleaners. And then, I thought again, and realized that no, she absolutely gets it, given that as foreign workers, she and Hindu have both left children, husbands and parents in Sri Lanka for more than three years. They know what it is to separate in order to make a living. Albeit, of a different standard.

So instead of feeling put upon when Daniel finally does return, I’ll try not to. Can’t promise, but given that he’s only been gone two weeks, and not two years, I can grin and bear it for one more day.

Tags: , , • Category: A New Reality, General, Holidays, Israeliness, Life 

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One Comment on High holiday woes

  1. High holiday woes | JewPI on Tue, Oct 27th 2009 1:43 AM

    2. [...] Jewish men with good voices and/or rabbinical ordination, spent Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in Read More » Share and Enjoy:Tags: high holiday, jewish men, rabbinical ordination, rosh hashana, Yom Kippur [...]

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