Matza zombies heading to a screen near you

April 14, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Israeliness, Movies 

It’s a plotline tailor made for the next Israeli entry into the Oscars: IDF soldier holds down menial job and shirks responsibility wherever possible. When he meets the girl of his dreams, he is set upon by ruthless enemies and must overcome his conflict-avoiding tendencies to save both country and his true love.

There’s just one twist: zombies.

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“Poisoned” is a new film by Didi Lubetzky that aims to be a “coming of age” slash Zombie comedy cult classic. According to the film’s synopsis, the protagonist, Danny, is the son of a legendary Israeli war hero. But the lazy Danny serves as an assistant custodian in a remote base that’s home to an elite combat unit. When his high school crush, Maya, arrives to deliver vaccines to the soldiers, she mistakes Danny for one of fighters and shows an interest in him for the first time.

But the vaccine turns the soldiers into flesh-eating zombies who kill everyone in sight. The uninfected Danny must save the day.

The film began as an idea that Lubetzky had as a student at Tel Aviv University Film School. It’s mostly self-financed and was influenced by other zombie comedies such as “Shaun of the Dead.”

But, this being Israel, social parody is never far behind. So to give “Poisoned” an even more Israeli twist, it all takes place on Passover. “Why is this night different from all other nights?” the film’s promo material asks? Zombies at the Seder, of course (and don’t give me any the lip about my Seder being so boring, all the participants turn into zombies anyway).

Happy Pesach to all you matzah-munching zombies. I wonder what’s for dessert?

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Cell phone symphony in Israel

April 14, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Business, General, Israeliness, Life, News, Technology 

The Hebrew papers and TV news covered it this week like it was a major diplomatic development, analyzing it this way and that and providing pages and pages of insight. A breakthrough between the Israelis and the Palestinians?

Nope, just the announcement of the winners of a government tender for two companies to enter the lucrative cell phone market by establishing their own cellular phone infrastructure in 2012. The winners? Mirs Communications and Maraton Telecom’s Xfone 018.

It makes sense that it was covered with the fanfare of a peace treaty being signed. Israelis are cell-phone crazy, leading the world in per capita usage. According to Communications Minister Moshe Kahlon, the expansion of the cell phone market beyond Cellcom, Orange and Pelephone will mean a reduction in prices to us – the consumers.

“This will complete the reform in the communications market, which aims to increase competition in the cellular service branch. The tender’s results are expected to transform the cellular market in Israel. A more competitive market will reduce prices, improve consumers services and of course, will upgrade the technological innovation,” he said.

The new cellular service providers will be required to gradually set up their own networks, and their coverage is expected to reach 10% of the country by February 2012. The carriers will be able to use antennae belonging to existing carriers in regions where they have yet to establish infrastructure. The carriers are expected to provide coverage to 40% of the country in four years, and 90% in seven years.

Sounds like good news, especially for those of us who are currently puzzled by all the hidden charges we see in our monthly cell phone bills and the surly service we receive by the companies’ reps. Maybe the new companies will even make use of the technology of Israel’s Extreme Reality, which as reported by ISRAEL21c, lets you use your mobile phones with just a flick of the hand.

Maybe they could do the same thing with our cell phone bills – make them go away with the flick of a hand.

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A new kind of haggadah

April 13, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Art, design, General, History and Culture, Holidays, Israeliness, Religion 

Pesach is less than a week away — I know, I know — so this is a tad on the late side, but worth hearing about. One of the new haggadot out there this year is A Happy Passover Haggadah – for the Entire Family, with bright, visual graphics by Israeli artist Monicka Clio Rafaeli, classic Ashkenazic and Sephardic texts and an English translation by Rabbi Marc Angel.

For Rafaeli, this Haggadah fulfills a long-time dream, from when she was a nine-year-old growing up in Greece, her birthplace, and her grandmother bought her Viewmaster reels. One of them was the story of Moses, and it’s a story that she’s always wanted to tell, in her way. Fast forward through the years, including moving to Israel at 14 with her family and spending five years in New York. Rafaeli was newly married and pregnant when she started working on this Haggadah here in Israel, creating a wildly colorful version as she’d always imagined. It took three years, and now that moment has finally arrived.

“I wanted to bring a fresh look to the table,” she says. “To show that Judaism and the seder are not only an ancient thing, they can be exciting, offer a new flavor.”

The haggadah is fully bilingual and transliterated in parts as well, and given its colorful illustrations and graphics, offers something to the non-reading set as well. It can still — well, maybe — be ordered off Amazon, and is available at Jewish bookstores.

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Taking a loan for the holiday

April 12, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Business, General, Holidays, Immigrant Moments, Israeliness 

Pesach vacation? Take a Bank Hapoalim loan at attractive rates.

We all know that Passover/Pesach is an expensive holiday; we just did our first grocery shop and it came to just over NIS 1,000, and that was just for the basics — some yogurts and cheeses, jam, spreads, four boxes of matzah and fruits and vegetables. And wait, six bottles of wine, some on special.

Want some new appliances? Take a Bank Hapoalim holiday loan at attractive rates.

But Bank Hapoalim is, yes, banking on the fact that Pesach is such an expensive holiday — from food to vacation — that they’re offering short-term loans for the eight-day stint. (It’s actually more like a 2.5 week holiday because school kids are on vacation from the week before, until several days into the week after.) You can get ten times your monthly income up to NIS 100,000 — whichever is lower — paid back in 60 installments plus prime interest rate (4%) plus 1.5%. And you don’t even have to start paying the loan back until three months after you’ve taken the loan. Just in time for Hofesh Hagadol, the ‘Great Summer Vacation.’

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Justin Bieber encounters Israeli paparazzi

April 12, 2011 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: A New Reality, Entertainment, General, Israeliness, Life, Music, Pop Culture 

Justin Bieber takes a motorcycle ride with fans hanging on. (Yoni Tuvali)

Israeli paparazzi are infamous for their tenacity. In the past Jim Carrey went so far as to hire a double to hang out at his hotel while he snuck out the back to go sightseeing. And the bodyguards of Leo DiCaprio, who was visiting the Kotel with his Israeli girlfriend Bar Rafaeli, got into a scuffle with overeager photographers jostling to snap the famous couple.

Now it’s Justin Bieber’s turn to be justifiably annoyed. The teen singing sensation arrived in Israel on Sunday night ahead of his show Thursday night in Tel Aviv’s Hayarkon Park. And the paparazzi haven’t left him alone.

On Tuesday, after evidently having an experience similar to DiCaprio’s at the Kotel, he took to Twitter to call out the paparazzi for trying to snap photos of him while he was in Israel taking in the sights, MTV reported.

“You would think paparazzi would have some respect in holy places,” he lamented. “All I wanted was the chance to walk where Jesus did here in Israel.”

“Staying in the hotel for the rest of the week u happy?” he wrote. “People wait their whole lives for opportunities like this, why would they want to take that experience away from someone. They should be ashamed of themselves. Take pictures of me eating but not in a place of prayer, ridiculous.”

Bieber’s post prompted the latest Twitter trend, #papsleavebiebsalone

A day earlier on Monday, Bieber tweeted about his excitement over being in Israel.
After spending the morning in his hotel room, the singer visited a Tel Aviv beach with his parents and crew members, played the traditional “matkot” (paddleball) game, rode a motorcycle and had a late lunch. In the evening he put on a white jacket, a tie and a pair of jeans and went out with his family for dinner at a restaurant near the beach.

“Just amazing place…not a bad day. just wish got a little more space and privacy from the paps to enjoy this time with my family. Thanks,” he wrote. “I’m in the holy land and i am grateful for that. I just want to have the same personal experience that others have here.”

Media reports have his itinerary including visiting the Sea of Galilee, Nazareth and Bethlehem, and on Wednesday even meeting Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. The PR firm of the show’s promoter has been putting out daily updates summarizing Bieber’s whereabouts as if he was a head of state instead of a 17-year-old teen idol.

After DiCaprio’s incident a few years ago, PR pros advised that the way to stop paparazzi from stalking you is to hold one event for the press, let them photograph you to their hearts content, and then they’ll leave you alone. Bieber’s people didn’t take that advice and have kept the visit totally private and shrouded in secrecy. Knowing the veracity of our local lensmen, however, I’m not sure a press conference would help anyway. They’d be staking him out everywhere along his journey anyway.

It’s almost as if we didn’t have real issues to deal with. How refreshing.

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