Why nice Jewish boys fall in love with Israel

December 27, 2006 - 5:11 AM by · 8 Comments
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                        Natalie 

        Nice Jewish girl (Natalie Portman) with Nice Jewish Boy

If there is one aspect of a nice Jewish boy’s lifestyle that is drastically altered whenever he sets foot in Israel, it is the dating scene. A nice suburbanite Jewish boy growing up in a South Florida neighborhood or say in New Jersey or New York is always on the lookout for a nice Jewish girl. He lives in his own Jewish world, typically attending Jewish summer camps, Jewish day schools, Jewish basketball leagues, Jewish youth movements and even Jewish parties. Now this Jewish 16 or 17 year old boy might tell you that he is keen on participating in Jewish events because he appreciates Jewish culture or wants to be well-connected with the Jewish community, but whatever this Jewish boy tells you, there are two main reasons why he does what he does. First and foremost: Jewish girls (trust me on this one). Second and just as important, is the Jewish boy’s mother who always prods at the Jewish boy to hangout with other Jewish boys. Whatever this Jewish mother tells you, her main reason for having her Jewish boy hangout with other Jewish boys is basic: so that the Jewish boy meets a nice Jewish girl. So we conclude from this what was rather intuitive, a Jewish boy’s main goal in life during his teenage years is to intermingle with Jewish girls. Of course he thinks about real estate or medicine from time to time (both career options quite successful at snatching Jewish girls) and he allots a major portion of his time to weight-lifting or basketball or soccer, (quite conducive in attracting Jewish girls as well) but most of the time, Jewish boys are thinking of the supreme end which we all know. The nice “catch”, as Jewish mothers so often refer to.

Eventually the nice Jewish boy graduates from High School and makes his way to a large campus university, preferably with a condensed Jewish girl population. When was the last time that you met a nice Jewish boy who studied at NotreDame or Lafayette College or Ohio State or AveMaria College? A nice Jewish boy goes to Harvard or Columbia if he can. If not, he settles for GWU, BU, UMaryland, American, Emory, Rutgers or one of the multitudes of schools where the bait is high. NY city schools are popular as well and so are well-known state schools. In college the Jewish boy is faced with a conundrum. He now has less access and time to all the “Jewish events” which he was so fond of during Middle School and High School. However, the Jewish boy hustles through the same way he did at the JCC Maccabi games. He goes to the Hillel for Shabbat every once in a while even though he detests the awkwardness of walking though campus entirely too well-dressed. He goes to social gatherings for Jews such as Matzah Ball or his college’s “Students for Israel” meetings. Every time he’s asked by his nice non-Jewish friends where he’s going so fresh and so clean he responds, “Oh just some Jewish stuff” (so as not to deal with having to explain what a Matzah Ball really is because he himself is still trying to figure out why they had to come up with such a corny name in titling the event). So the Jewish boy, unless he lucks out and finds that nice Jewish girlfriend, struggles in college. He goes to wild frat parties with his friends often to meet REALLY nice non-Jewish sorority girls which he certainly does not refrain from engaging with. Often times, he engages with them for a substantial amount of time until images of his mother start popping up in his head so frequently. The  Jewish boy’s paranoia, from dating a non-Jewish girl, multiplies exponentially with each day until he can’t take it anymore and like a true mench, ends the relationship. Some nights, the nice Jewish boy sits home at night just wondering how life would be if all the women around him were Jewish. He pulls out his financial calculator and calculates how much his returns on Jewish girl dating would increase if the 20% Jewish population in his campus climbed up to 100%. The Jewish boy looks at the final figure in his calculator and becomes bewildered. Immediately, he logs on to Facebook and clicks on the Jews of ____ group page. He clicks on the Birthright link and next thing you know, in December, he and three other Jewish boys from AE? are off to Israel.
 

The American Jewish boy in an Israel tour trip is like a rookie NBA player who just came into his first million dollar check, he is paralyzed by the enormity of his options which were never in existence before. He hears the row call, “Veronica Feldman, Jessica Adler, Grace Ruthberg, Jesse Greenberg, Naomi Waismann, Erica Saltzberg,…” and so on. He doesn’t need to do anymore background checks. He’s gold, they’re all Jewish. The security girl is Jewish, the waitress is Jewish, the madricha is Jewish, even the McDonald’s vendor is Jewish (unthinkable in the US). No need to mention- all the participants in the trip are JEWISH. Israel to him, now becomes a huge Jewish camp. Whether he roams over to Zolly’s or Laila in downtown Jerusalem, or the myriad of clubs in Tel Aviv, the Jewish boy and his friends are in paradise. And then, after 3 maybe 4 “engagements” in amongst his all-nighters in the hotel rooms with all the vibrant Jewish youth in Israel, in a jam-packed 10-day stay at the amusement park, the Jewish boy reluctantly returns to the United States. It is no surprise after all, that Jewish boys are unanimously in love with Israel. –David Wainer

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Western Aliyah

May 9, 2006 - 3:16 PM by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: General 

The Jewish Agency reported that for 2005, the number of Olim Hadashim (people who have immigrated to Israel during that year) was 23,000. According to the Jewish Agency, this year Israel received a record number of Jews making Aliyah from the west. From North America, 3,052; from France, 2980; from South America, 1850. The Chairman of the Jewish Agency Zeev Bielski hopes this signifies a turning-point in the perspective of Israel to the Jewish World: “I hope that this year will mark a turning point for aliyah and for participation of young people in educational programs in Israel. After several difficult years we’ve been through, we believe that the improvement in the security and economic situation will increase the feeling of security, and together with the Jewish Agency’s new “aliyah of choice” strategies, aliyah will be on the rise in 2006 as well. I am happy that so many people are choosing to come to Israel”.

So in the beginning of 2006, January 16 to be specific, along with about 150 other North-American students, I landed at the Tel-Aviv Yaffo airport to begin the semester program at Hebrew University. Indeed Bielski was correct. The better feeling of security was imperative in allowing my parents to support my decision in attending this educational program this spring. And although I had no family in Israel on January 16th as I made my way to Jerusalem’s Hebrew University, January 17th was a completely different story. One day from my arrival to Israel, saw the brand-new aliyah of my 28 year old cousin with her husband and two children from Sao Paulo, Brazil (where I’m originally from). Within twenty four hours of the commencement of my journey to Israel I went from having no family to having a 1st cousin in Ranana.

Two weeks ago, I went to visit my family as they are now more adjusted and ready to receive guests. I had long talks with my cousin and her husband about the motivation behind their Aliyah. Let me say this- Flavio, my cousin’s husband, was making twice the amount of money that he is now making at Price-Waterhouse in Tel Aviv. They were living in a terrific apartment in Janopolis, a very nice area of Sao Paulo and could afford to have two cars and enroll the two children in private schools. When I arrived in Ranana, I was surprised to see that my family, who was extremely well-established in Brazil, was living under much more humble conditions in Israel. Sharing one car, living in a tiny 2 bed-room apartment in an absorption center, and taking the bus to work to save money, my family had given up on their many comforts solely for the purpose of Zionism.

My family illustrates a new shift on Aliyah patterns. The earlier decades of Israel’s young life, saw more predominant immigration coming from areas of the world dealing with either social oppression or economic difficulties. Whether it’d be the mass waves of immigrants such as the half-million Jews from Eastern Europe and increasingly hostile Arab countries in 1948-1950, the 300,000 Russians who came after The 6-day War during the 70’s and 80’s, or the Ethiopian Jews who came during Operation Moses in 1985, past immigration to Israel was in many cases a necessity to many.

Jews coming now from wealthy and stable communities in North America, England, and some parts of South America, demonstrate an intrepid, well-educated, and patriotic group of zionists.

To me, this shift taking place in Aliyah, although still reasonably small as it only represents less than a 1% increase in the Israeli population, is a strong sign confirming Bielski’s hope that people have a new-found hope in Israel’s economy, security, and overall stability as a forward moving state. The recent 4 billion investment by the out-of-this-world Warren Buffet (meet him and you’ll know what I’m talking about), into 80% of Iscar Corp.’s stock holdings, sums-up the new belief that there is confident Western belief in the progress of Israel- unilaterally if necessary.

So now as my semester comes to a close, and I will have to once again take out my American or Brazilian passport to make my way back to the “Land of the Free”, a feeling of onus and passion entraps me. A realization that I might never genuinely tie myself to the land that was established with tremendous hard-work and much suffering for the Jews of Diaspora comes to mind. The thought that this state is ardently fought for ever day so that people like myself could build a life and reconnect to their heritage and the mere possibility that I might die one day and never hold a passport that says Israel and David Wainer on the same document becomes slightly perturbing.

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DEAD END exhibition

March 28, 2006 - 1:50 PM by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: General 

Last Tuesday I ran into my friend Matan, who invited me to go see the DEAD END exhibition at the Museum on the Seam on Friday. I had heard that the exhibition dealt with socio-political issues and its target was to advocate coexistence and a commitment to peace. I have to say that I prepared myself for the worst before checking the place out. From my experience, a peace center or rally always lacks innovation and originality except for the new lice species growing on some hippy dude’s hair as he tries to sell you hemp bracelets. And so walking down Chel Handasa St., I was surprised to see a decrepit building scarred by bullet-holes. Once a battle post, the Seam building stood in front of me as a placard for the price of violence. In the center between Mea Shearim, the Damascus gate area, Old Jerusalem and the new city, the Co-Existence museum stood as a seam connecting all these neighborhoods.
I walked in that Friday with a little more optimism than what my heart had reserved for that morning. My palpitation escalated to the level that generally means “enthusiasm”. I was greeted by a 10 Shekel student charge and a short film by Cristoph and Wolfgang Laushtein about clay humans who begin helping each other but then due to misunderstandings, end up killing each other. A few minutes later, I was facing a painting by Sharon Poliakine of human faces that overlapped with and without each other illustrating humanity’s interdependence (can be seen in the picture to the right). Vivid imagery of violence was displayed in different video footages through the overhead transparency. Scenes of Israeli military arresting Palestinians and opening fire on a riotous juvenile group were shown while scenes of Palestinians involved in violent terror through machine guns were equally captivating. As the exhibition captured the viewer’s attention with eye-catching films, violent brush-strokes and brusque black and white designs, it also offered more visually-agreeable art with messages that aspired for a symbolic resolution. As I made my way up to the top, a quote by Edward Said from Orientalism summarized the roots of our conflicts, “Can one divide human reality as indeed human reality seems to be genuinely divided, into clearly different cultures, histories, traditions, societies, even races and survive the consequences humanly?” I thought to myself at that point that one must constantly be inspired to look at each person as an entity within itself. Whether it’d be that funny mole on their lip or an authentic hair-style, everyone withholds something particular and sole to their character.
Now finally at the top, Matan and I could see almost all of Jerusalem from that centered rooftop. As I spun around with my eyes wide open I saw the Temple Mount first, then the Ethiopian Church, then Har HaTsofim and finally Har HaZeitim. I was overlooking Jerusalem and so I asked Matan, “How about Damascus Gate for some Shisha and Chai?” Within 10 minutes we were blowing smoke and saying shukran.

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