Israeli driver training

December 23, 2011 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: A New Reality, Crime, education, General, Israeliness, Life, Travel 

Having possessed a car for much of the last 25 years, I’ve grown accustomed to the driving habits most Israelis have adopted – habits that have justifiably given us the reputation of being among the worst drivers in the world.

Driving around Jerusalem the other day, my wife and started joking about what we would do if we were given citizen’s rights to give traffic violations. We decided to keep track of the various infractions Israeli drivers are guilty of on a daily basis.

Within a couple minutes, we witnessed one driver speeding up as a traffic light turned red and barreling through the intersection. “That’s a license revoking offense,” I offered.

A couple streets later, a car over on the right shoulder had just evidently mistakenly passed a side street and was backing up against the traffic in order to turn right. I think that should prompt taking their license away and also impounding their car and forcing the driver to take an IQ test. It’s probably the most dangerous thing you can do on the road besides driving blindfolded.

“This is too easy,” my wife said, as we continued to witness one violation after another – cyclists weaving in and out of traffic, drivers making right turns from the left lanes, and someone blaring thumping trance music from their open window – itself a capital offense.

We thought we had seen everything, and had handed out probably 20 tickers during our imaginary shift. However, driving up the highway incline to our neighborhood, a station wagon passed us containing what looked like Palestinian laborers on their way home. A quick glance came up with nine passengers in a six-seat car, and these guys weren’t tiny.

We couldn’t help but laugh at the negligence around us, but one more sight topped it all. Across the median on the shoulder heading downhill, a taxi was pulled over to the side. The driver was standing around the front of the car, facing away from the road and urinating for all to see.

After all we had witnessed on that trip, it didn’t seem to be so bad at all.

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Shattered calm close to an Israeli home

December 18, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, coexistence, Crime, General, Israeliness, Life, News, War 

The entrance to Ma'aleh Adumim usually looks like this.

To get into our city of Ma’aleh Adumim, you have to pass a compact roadblock usually manned by two people. It consists of a mobile barrier that drivers need to slalom around, slowing down enough for the guards to get a good glance at you.

It’s generally a boring place, despite the thousands of cars that pass daily, and the hundreds of construction workers – mostly from the neighboring Palestinian village of Azariyah – who on foot pass through the barrier on the way to their day jobs.

So, it was surprising to find out on Saturday night, after Shabbat came to an end, that a guard at the entrance had been lightly injured in a stabbing attack that morning.

According to The Jerusalem Post report, “a suspected Palestinian terrorist launched a knife attack against a security guard at the entrance to the Ma’ale Adumim settlement near Jerusalem on Saturday. The municipal guard was lightly injured in the assault. He was evacuated to hospital for treatment. Police and IDF forces were searching the area for the suspect.”

It took place on a beautifully sunny, mild winter’s day, less than a quarter-mile from my house, unbeknownst to the families in the neighborhood enjoying the day with their families.

An odd thing about the incident – generally Palestinians aren’t coming into Ma’aleh Adumim on Shabbat, since there’s no building or repair work going on. So either the perpetrator made a special trip to attack, or he had another reason to be coming to the city.

Either way, whether the attack was the result of cumulative anger, hate and frustration at Israeli ‘occupiers, or he had a personal vendetta about a work issue that left him humiliated or enraged, or whether he was mentally unstable and the guard was a natural target, the ‘business-as-usual’ feeling that passes for reality in the West Bank is a tenuous one that can be broken at any time with ease of a knife’s steel blade passing in the wind.

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The Israeli version of ‘the dog ate my homework’

November 7, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Crime, General, Israeliness, Life 

The robot bomb sapper.

My 11-year-old son came home from school with an anecdote yesterday about an occurrence that could only happen in Israel.

We’ve all heard the old ‘my dog ate my homework’ excuse or something along those lines, and many of us have probably used it at some point in their educational career. But one of Matan’s classmates brought a truly original – and true – excuse to class for not doing her math homework.

She and some friends were waiting after school at a bus stop for their bus home, when they decided to walk a couple blocks to the nearest ‘makolet’ (corner market) to buy some ice cream. They took their leisurely time, until about 20 minutes later on the way back, she realized that she had left her school bag at the bus stop.

By the time they approached to the bus stop, the police suspicious objects unit was already there, treating the school bag as a potential terror threat. And one of their cool robot cop remote-controlled devices was in the process of exploding the bag.

The shocked girl retrieved her knapsack, which didn’t really look like a knapsack anymore. And inside was her math book, warped, burned, and shredded.

The next day, she brought the book to school and presented it to her surprised teachers.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do my homework yesterday,” she said. “My book got blown up.”

When my son finished relaying the story to me, his final comment was, “she’s so lucky, she didn’t have to do her homework.”

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DJ saved my life

August 29, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Crime, Entertainment, General, Israeliness, Life, Music, News, Pop Culture, War 

While East Coast Americans were hunkering down as Tropical Storm Irene wreaked havoc along the eastern sea board, in Tel Aviv, high school students were gathering at the famed Haoman 17 nightclub for a back to school dance party.

Internationally known Israeli DJ Yinon Yahel was spinning the discs inside, and 1,000 teens crammed the club for one of their last free nights ahead of the school year which begins on Thursday.

Unbeknownst to them, however, right outside a drama was unfolding, as a terrorist, rammed a stolen taxi into the police barrier right outside the club. He then emerged from the taxi and went on a stabbing spree, injuring seven people, five Border Police officers, a security guard and one civilian.

The suspect was tackled, taken into custody, and brought to Wolfson Medical Center in Holon in light condition. Inside the club, Yahel was informed about a terror attack outside the club shortly after it happened, but was asked by management to keep playing.

“The management came and told me that there was an attack outside the club, but told me to keep playing and not to say anything, so that people wouldn’t panic. Everyone was inside by then so they didn’t seem to know what was going on,” Yahel told The Jerusalem Post.

An hour later, around 3 a.m. when the attacker had been subdued and the scene restored to order, the club was finally ordered evacuated and the teens sent home.

For the 33-year-old Yahel, who performs at some of the top clubs around the world, and is an in-demand remix specialist for dance artists ranging from Kristine W and Deborah Cox to Christina Aguilera and P Diddy, it wasn’t a typical evening.

When I talked to him last year for a story, he said that his music usually brings people together, regardless of their origin.

“I get Palestinians and Lebanese attending my shows and coming up to me to talk. In a club, we’re all just people,” he said.

Sunday night in Tel Aviv, his music almost became the backdrop for a horror movie, one that was thankfully averted. While the club goers interviewed by the Post made light of the situation after the fact when they found out about, it’s likely bound to be a back to school event they’ll never forget.

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Agunot in the NYPost

July 20, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Crime, General, Immigrant Moments, Life, Religion 

What’s the Israel-related news in today’s New York Post? The goon-hired kidnapping, beating and handcuffing of a Jerusalem rabbi’s son who has refused to grant his wife a ‘get,’ a religious divorce, making her into an ‘aguna.’

Orchestrated by a New Jersey rabbi and his wife, the couple lured Yisrael Briskman to their home to discuss work on the rabbi’s book research, but got him into their bedroom where two goons punched, blindfolded and handcuffed Briskman. They repeatedly asked him to consent to his wife’s divorce and then called his father in Israel, telling him to fork over $100,000 to the daughter-in-law’s family, or they would receive a “special gift” of a bullet in Rabbi Briskman’s head.

They then dropped Briskman — the son — at a cousin’s home, told him not to squeal to the cops, and ended up surrendering to the FBI.

A confusing story to be sure, although their motives — getting Briskman, who has been denying his wife a divorce for years, and has been on the run for some time from the Israeli authorities — are sort of understandable, given the grief he has caused his ex-wife.

And from my perspective, seeing this front page of the Post while wandering through the NYC subway system? Bizarre and not what you want to be seeing about fellow Americans who have made aliyah. But is anything surprising any longer?

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