Hasidim and sex – Haaretz spices it up

February 14, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion 

The "Beis Yisroel" with his entourage vacationing in Europe.

They say that nothing sells newspapers like sex and Haaretz had a doozy last week: the second part in an expose (OK, just a spicy research study) on the sex lives of a particular group of ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel – the Gur Hasidim. The article was the talk of our table this past Shabbat.

As too often happens, stories in the media aim to titillate first; present the facts only secondary. But this article seems to have some meat to it. It’s based on the doctoral dissertation of Nava Wasserman, who conducted her research under the guidance of Prof. Kimmy Caplan, at Bar-Ilan University.

A central part of the study quoted in the Haaretz article focused mainly around the wedding night. Wasserman describes how Gur members are taught that sex – and any sexual thoughts – are a sin and how young men in the sect by and large know nothing of the subject…until two hours before the wedding.

At that point, a Gur “counselor” reveals to the groom what he must do on his wedding night. “There are grooms who throw up or faint when they hear these things,” Haaretz quotes Wasserman as saying. She cites an interview she conducted with a young Gur man who related that, “I saw black circles in front of my eyes and all of a sudden I found myself on the sofa.”

Wasserman explains that “the sect is willing to pay this price, to receive the benefit of sanctity.” Girls, by the way, receive more extensive counseling, a few weeks before the wedding.

The rules of sex in the Gur society apparently stem from the late Rabbi Israel Alter (also known as the “Beis Yisroel”), who led Gur from 1948 to 1977, and wanted to unify the sect by distancing it from Western society which, Wasserman notes, Alter felt “blew sexuality out of its natural and necessary proportions.”

“When my goals are spiritual, I must do everything to reduce my natural desires,” Wasserman continues in the article. “Gur Hasidim contend that it is possible to control sexual urges. When a Gur Hasid walks down the street, he will direct his gaze downward. On a bus, he might remove his glasses.”

With this in mind, it’s not too hard to understand how we’ve come to the separation of men and women on buses.

Wasserman is clear to emphasize that the Gur are a small group within the greater ulra-Orthodox community and that stereotyping an entire population is unfair and incorrect. That was certainly the response at our Shabbat table where the kids didn’t want to hear from Abba’s presumably bigoted pontifications. In response, I sent them the articles to read after Shabbat.

Now you can too. Part one is here. And here’s a link to part two. You can draw your own conclusions.

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Gur Hasidim and sex: Haaretz spices it up

February 14, 2012 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: News, Religion 

The "Beis Yisroel" with his Hasidim on vacation

They say that nothing sells newspapers like sex and Haaretz had a doozy last week: the second part in an expose (OK, just a spicy research study) on the sex lives of a particular group of ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel – the Gur Hasidim. The article was the talk of our table this past Shabbat.

As too often happens, stories in the media aim to titillate first, present the facts only secondary. But this article seems to have some meat to it. It’s based on the doctoral dissertation of Nava Wasserman, who conducted her research under the guidance of Prof. Kimmy Caplan, at Bar-Ilan University.

The parts of the study quoted in the Haaretz article focused mainly around the wedding night. Wasserman describes how Gur members are taught that sex – and any sexual thoughts – are a sin and how young men in the sect by and large know nothing of the subject…until two hours before the wedding.

At that point, a Gur “counselor” reveals to the groom what he must do on his wedding night. “There are grooms who throw up or faint when they hear these things,” Haaretz quotes Wasserman as saying. She cites an interview she conducted with a young Gur man who related that, “I saw black circles in front of my eyes and all of a sudden I found myself on the sofa,” Wasserman explains that “the sect is willing to pay this price, to receive the benefit of sanctity.” Girls, by the way, receive more extensive counseling, a few weeks before the wedding.

The rules of sex in the Gur society apparently stem from the late Rabbi Israel Alter (also known as the Beis Yisroel), who led Gur from 1948 to 1977 and wanted to unify the sect by distancing it from Western society which, Wasserman notes, the Gur felt “blew sexuality out of its natural and necessary proportions.”

“When my goals are spiritual, I must do everything to reduce my natural desires,” Wasserman continues in the article. “Gur Hasidism contend that it is possible to control sexual urges. When a Gur Hasid walks down the street, he will direct his gaze downward. On a bus, he might remove his glasses.”

With this in mind, it’s not too hard to understand how we’ve come to the separation of men and women on buses.

Wasserman is clear to emphasize that the Gur are a small group within the greater ulra-Orthodox community – no more than about 20,000 – and that stereotyping an entire population is unfair and incorrect. That was certainly the response at our Shabbat table where the kids didn’t want to hear from Abba’s presumably bigoted pontifications. I sent them the articles to read. Now you can too. Part one is here. And here’s a link to part two. You can draw your own conclusions.

 

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Haredim gone wild

February 11, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, coexistence, design, General, Israeliness, Life, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Justice 

This is unlikely to help bridge the secular-haredi divide that has engulfed Israel, with all the recent women-in-the-back-of-the-bus and army singing segregation stories.

An Israeli fashion magazine called BelleMode is publicizing a new photo spread that speaks directly to those headlines. The spread features models portraying haredi men and women on a bus. But not only is there no separate seating, there’s some very provocative cohabitation going on.

As the Gawker website put it, the outfits “ resemble the clothing favored by haredim, except with some minor differences. Like, some of the shirts are see-through. And some of the models have forgotten to wear their pants.”

According to an accompanying behind the scenes video for the shoot, the director is heard explaining what he was trying to do. “My feeling is, that in the fashion industry, women have a lot of power, they are at the center. We took that power and decided to centralize/funnel it into a fashion production – that’s both inspired and against a woman’s appearance, to bring all the stuff that’s most irritating to us — the bus banishments, silencing of singing – to bring it and make a production that walks a fine line between being very closed and modest to ripped wide open and sexy. As long as it’s being done in good taste and doesn’t harm the woman, I don’t see any problem.”

You can judge for yourself after viewing some of the photos from the shoot here.

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No more lying for “religious” girls?

February 8, 2012 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Politics, Religion 

IDF insignia

We know a girl named Liat who lied to get out of doing army service. Despite living a secular lifestyle, she told the army she was religious, which gave her an automatic exemption. She then made matters even worse: instead of signing up for national service, which most non-haredi religious girls do, she instead fled the country where, last I heard, she was selling Dead Sea products in a Florida mall.

Liat’s story was the subject of many Shabbat conversations in our family, with the clear consensus being that, if not quite a traitor, she was still committing some serious ethical breeches through her dubious decisions.

Now it looks like Liat and others like her won’t have it so easy. A new bill winding its way through the Knesset (it’s now being prepared for its second and third readings by the Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee) would force girls caught lying about their religiosity to enlist…or even be put on trial.

Currently, there are three conditions for girls to be exempted from military service for religious reasons: keeping kosher, not traveling on Shabbat, and the more fungible category of having a “religious lifestyle” in their home. Girls studying in religious schools get an automatic exemption without even having to apply; students in non-Orthodox schools must testify before a local rabbinical committee.

While I’m 100% in favor of cracking down on liars, there are echoes in the proposed bill that remind me of recent outrages regarding conversions, where the rabbinical authorities have retroactively annulled conversions where the convert has been “caught” no longer keeping Shabbat, for example.

To be sure, no one (well, almost no one) wants the religious police checking into your private business. But the conversion debacle is not the same as this new bill; it’s more a matter of contemporary religious extremism never before mandated in Jewish Law, while army service is a national, (nearly) universally accepted law.

Naturally, any change having to do with the religious status quo raised quite a ruckus in the Knesset. United Torah Judaism MK Moshe Gafni spoke out against the legislation, saying it “reeks of underhanded opportunism” and is unacceptable, according to The Jerusalem Post. He called for the bill to not apply to national religious and haredi girls. Is he suggesting that those sectors never lie either? Or just that girls shouldn’t serve in the army, period?

Coalition chairman Ze’ev Elkin from the Likud countered that the bill would only apply to girls who lie (or who stop being observant after receiving an exemption), and therefore wouldn’t affect haredi girls anyway (unless they are sinning in their hearts, wink, wink Jimmy Carter circa 1977).

According to the IDF’s Manpower division, hundreds more girls will join the IDF, should the bill pass. How’s that for honesty?

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Women do it for themselves in Beit Shemesh

January 9, 2012 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, coexistence, Entertainment, General, Israeliness, Life, Music, News, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Justice 

YouTube Preview ImageWhen the going gets tough, the only solution is to… organize a flash mob.

Residents of Beit Shemesh, between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, have been stigmatized recently by the behavior towards women of certain haredi elements within certain neighborhoods of the city.

In recent weeks, an ultra-Orthodox man spat on an 8-year-old girl for “immodest” dress, and a subsequent protest for women’s rights drew national attention, featuring speeches from national political leaders. Beit Shemesh has an unorthodox makeup (no pun intended), in that the older, main area is a largely mixed, working class community of Sephardic old timers and their offspring. However, new suburbs of the city have become magnets for a different population – one area is filled with national religious English-speaking immigrants, and another is one of the most haredi in the country, outside of Mea She’arim.

Dance organizer Miri Shalem, who works for the city’s community center, decided to organize a women’s flash mob to protest of the violent extremist actions of “the group of crazies,” and to show that there is another side to Beit Shemesh.

So, last Friday morning in the city square, more than 250 women of all sizes, ages and religious identification got down with Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” in an impressive display of organization, rhythm and fun.

“Today the women and girls demonstrated our unity in public and I hope we will continue to do this in the future in order to improve our city,” Shalem said.

Bring on more flash mobs!

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