Hadassah bedside manner

July 28, 2010 - 11:09 AM by David · 1 Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, General, Immigrant Moments, Israeliness, Life 

So there we were, my wife and I, right on time for my electromyography (EMG) test at Hadassah Hospital Ein Kerem. The EMG is a technique using slight shocks for evaluating and recording the electrical activity produced by skeletal muscles.

This is the test which I wrote about earlier, with a five month waiting list. And thanks to good old Israeli protekzia, I got it whittled down to three weeks.

Someone was already in the examining room of the professor who conducts the test, and he went a bit beyond the scheduled time of my appointment. No problem.

When the patient did leave, instead of calling me in, the professor made a phone call, which I heard through the door, which had been left ajar.

He began a conversation, apparently with a travel agent. Evidently, from what we could glean, he had booked a two-week trip to some European destination, and was upset over fees that the agent had added beyond the cost of the trip.

My wife and I shared glances at what seemed to be an appropriation of work time for a personal matter, but we went back to listening.

It seemed pretty straightfoward, but the professor kept going over the points again and again, getting more blustery as he went, as the person on the other end of the conversation apparently wasn’t backing down like he expected. This went on for 20 minutes!

Meanwhile, another patient for the slot after me had arrived, and was now waiting along with me. I looked at him, smiled and shrugged, as we could hear the professor’s agitated voice wafting out of the open door.

My wife finally turned to me and said, “Can you imagine a clerk at a store, or someone in customer service ignoring a client or customer for 20 minutes and making a personal call? What gives a medical professional the right?”

I was more worried that he was going to be in a bad mood when he finally finished the call, and he was the guy in charge of the shocks being administered to me.

He finally did hang up, I went in, and he was out in 10 minutes. His bedside manner was on par with his phone manners, and I left realizing you can have a title like professor attached to your name and still have no idea what’s going on.

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I know someone who knows someone who can help

July 6, 2010 - 9:24 PM by David · 1 Comment
Filed under: A New Reality, Business, General, Immigrant Moments, Israeliness, Life 

Protekzia makes the world go round, especially if you’re in Israel. The term – meaning having someone on the inside to enable you to bypass normal social protocol – is coveted here. And most immigrants never find the key to unlock their inner protekzia, as it’s usually about who you know in high or powerful places.

I finally felt like a veteran Israeli this week, around the fourth that I’ve been undergoing tests for a mysterious ache in my upper arm and shoulder.

Not having had to test the efficiency of my socialized health plan beyond ordinary family doctor visits and tests since I’ve lived here, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the way things work. So far, I’ve been x-rayed, had a stress test, met with an orthopedic doctor and had an ultrasound. On the positive side, I’m healthy as an ox. On the negative side, there’s still no diagnosis for my nagging ailment.

The next step is to undergo something called a nerve collection EMG, some kind of test conducted at Haddasah Hospital involving inserting needles in the nerves of my arms. I called up to make an appointment, and the receptionist said, “You can have either 1:30 pm or 2 pm on… November 3rd.”

After overcoming my shock, I told her that I was busy at 2 pm so I’d take the 1:30. She didn’t even laugh.

Later, after thinking about the four month wait for something that’s bothering me now, I remembered that a friend knew some important personnel at the hospital. I called her and asked if there was anything she thought she could do. She said she’d make a phone call, and I gave her all the info.

A few minutes later, I got a call from a Hadassah rep saying that there had been a cancellation for July 28th and it was mine if I wanted. From four months down to three weeks, all because of a phone call.

Even if my arm still hurts, I felt better at having succeeded in penetrating the labrynthe of Israeli protekzia.

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Israel’s next ambassador to the US – it cudda been me

May 6, 2009 - 9:17 AM by David · Leave a Comment
Filed under: General, Immigrant Moments, Israeliness, Politics 

Michal Oren (Photo: The Toby Press)

Michal Oren (Photo: The Toby Press)

There’s a warm glow in the bellies these days of many Israelis who immigrated from the US. One of our own – historian and author Michael Oren – has been named to be ambassador to the US.

Oren, whose books include Six Days of War: June 1967, The Making of the Modern Middle East and, most recently, Power, Faith, and Fantasy: America in the Middle East, 1776 to the Present, made aliyah in 1979, only a few years before me. It just confirms that if I had buckled down more, had been a whole lot smarter, and like wearing ties, I might have gotten that posting myself.

While many nationalities in our melting pot have strong representation in the upper echelons of government, business and culture, it seems like we former Americans have been under-achievers, or maybe just too timid to push ahead in the the Middle Eastern environment here. Maybe, we just can’t work the protekzia button the way others have been able to.

Sure, there’s Tal Brody in basketball, Bank Hapoalim’s Shari Arison in business, Nobel Prize winner Robert Aumann, and Dore Gold, Ron Dermer and Ari Harrow in Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s inner posse, as well as many more which I’m sure you’ll remind me of.

But when a fellow countryman, even one you don’t know personally, achieves the heights that Oren has, it’s reason to be proud. And Oren, evidently has many reasons to make us proud. Besides being one of the world’s foremost historians on the Middle East, Oren is a mensch, according to his fellow IDF reservist Dan Gordon.

Gordon, writing in his blog, described an incident during the Second Lebanon War in 2006, in which he and Oren were serving in the Army Spokesman’s unit on the front lines.

We hooked up with the ambulance in a wadi or deep ravine. Flairs were going off above us, which meant that Hizbullah knew we were there and were hunting for us. We served as the covering force while the fallen were evacuated.

Later Michael’s daughter, who was serving as a social worker in the Golani Brigade, called Michael on his cell phone. Her unit had taken a lot of wounded; most of them were her friends.

Michael turned to me and said, “My daughter needs a hug. Can I borrow your car?” The two of us drove down from the Lebanese border to Rambam Hospital in Haifa. Michael spent a half hour with his daughter; gave her a much needed hug and then the two of us drove back near dawn to rejoin our unit.

That is the kind of man Israel’s ambassador designate to the U.S. is. He wouldn’t hesitate to endanger his life not only to recover wounded, but to recover the fallen, and though exhausted himself, drove round trip, four hours to give his daughter a hug when she most needed her father’s love.

Politics aside, and Oren’s been bashed for being both too Right and too Left, as a person representing Israel’s interests in the US, there’s every indication he’s going to walk right down the middle. And if he finds the job too taxing, I’m available to help out as long as I don’t have to wear a tie.

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