In need of rain? Ask a government minister

January 27, 2009 - 3:26 PM by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Environment, General, Israeliness, Life, Religion 

I feel like a fish that has been left out of water too long. I’m literally gasping for rain. Being one of those foreign transplants from grey, rainy Britain, Israel’s warm climate is a frequent source of joy. But while I enjoy the heat and the sunshine, I still need the storms and rain of winter to help me get through the long, hot, barren, endlessly blue and sunny summers where I seem to suffer a kind of reverse seasonal affect disorder.

Oh for a good heavy rainstorm...

Oh for a good heavy rainstorm...


This year I’m not the only one. Even the most hardened Israeli sun-lovers, who normally complain of depression after just one day of rain, are protesting. And with reason. It’s been the driest January since Israeli records began, and it comes after four other exceptionally dry years.
From 1980 to 2007, the available volume of water in Lake Kinneret was 328 million cubic meters a year. This year it will be just 45 million cubic meters. Prof. Uri Shani, head of the Water Authority said the probability of Israel having such a dry winter, after a series of four dry years, was practically zero – but when did probability enter into global warming.
There are all sorts of plans afoot on how to deal with this water crisis – plans which quite frankly should have been put in place a year or two ago, but possibly the most kooky of the lot comes from Agriculture Minister Shalom Simhon, who has come up with the idea of changing all the mezuzot in the Israel Water Authority offices.
Under Jewish tradition, a mezuzah is a piece of parchment inscribed with specific Hebrew verses from the Torah, which is put inside a special case and attached to doorframes as a kind of blessing. Some people like to kiss their hand and touch the case as they go in and out of the building, for good luck.
Simhon’s big plan, then, is to change the blessings inside these mezuzot in an effort to change Israel’s luck with rainfall patterns. The minister explained his logic by telling other ministers that when Labor was at an all-time low in the polls, he changed the mezuzot at the Labor House, and the party doubled its strength.
Good to know the water crisis is in capable hands, eh? Perhaps we should also consider bringing a tribe of native Indians across to do a rainfall dance. Of course water rationing, and a desalination plant or two might also help. But hell, what would I know, I’m not a government minister.

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