HMO bait and switch?

February 26, 2010 - 11:16 AM by Brian Blum · Leave a Comment
Filed under: health, Life

Maccabi Health Fund

When I received a call from our Maccabi Tivi, the complementary medicine branch of our local HMO, offering a massage and reflexology treatment for only NIS 100 (just over $25), I jumped at the chance. After all, my favorite luxury vacation has always been a trip to a spa (of which there are now plenty in Israel) with a massage included. Those rub downs, however, are usually upwards of NIS 300 ($80).

The Maccabi deal, unfortunately, was a bit of a bait and switch. In order to get the massage, you have to first see the doctor whose job is to sell you additional treatments. The appointment then became a kind of game of cat and mouse where I needed to tell the doctor what ailed me, but not too much, lest he send me for acupuncture instead of shiatsu.

I didn’t have much to worry about. Dr. Rosenbaum was pleasant enough, waddling in late for our meeting. He asked me some questions and typed them slowly, one finger at a time, into his computer. He felt my pulse and asked me to stick out my tongue. Then he sent me on my way without a single alternative recommendation.

My massage was immediately afterward. It was also part of the bait and switch. Not that my masseuse Nadav was in on the game. But the shiatsu was brief – under 30 minutes – and much of it consisted of his placing two fingers on strategic parts of my back and holding them there for several minutes. Not exactly a strenuous workout.

Nadav seemed, in fact, more interested in getting back to his granola bar, which he greedily stuffed into his mouth before I had even left the treatment room.

My reflexology appointment is next week. I have to decide if it’s worth the time – an hour and a half back and forth with Jerusalem’s horrendous center city traffic – not to mention the cost of the parking.

I’m expecting a sales call on the phone shortly. “How did I like it?” “Am I ready to sign up for more?” I’ll act politely interested, then insist on a full hour, no doctor, no granola bars and validated parking.

OK, maybe not the parking.

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Tags: jerusalem, Maccabi, Massage, reflexology, shiatsu

A Big Plate of Hummus, Mud Massage and Happy Hour Everyday, it’s Good to be a Tourist in Israel

November 6, 2008 - 12:16 PM by Molly · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Food, General, History and Culture, Israeliness, Life, Pop Culture, Travel

While it is technically the beginning of the Jewish New Year, it is also the end of the holiday season. And that means it is the end of tourist season. And while I can’t say that I miss the tourists, it does hurt our economy when they’re not around. But not to worry because the Ministry of Tourism has got our back, and they have figured out a way to bring the next batch of picture-taking, money spending, falafel eating, dead sea swimming, tourists to Israel.

Their plan is simple: The World Travel Market Fair. What exactly is this, you ask. Well it’s only the second largest tourism fair in the world being held in London from November 10-14th. Countries are able to set up shop in a booth and try to entice potential travelers to their fantasy vacation. And if they didn’t know it already, their dream destination is Israel.

So how does the Ministry of Tourism make the Israel vacation getaway look like a cup of tea? How about the biggest plate of hummus in the world? That’s right, while we are being sued by Lebanon over who is the baby daddy of hummus (http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1027016.html), the ministry is piling it on a plate in the hopes of brining new hungry tourists to the Holy Land.

From hummus to mud, the Israel exhibit will also feature Dead Sea mud treatments and massages for those indecisive (and truly lucky) fair goers. I feel that the potential tourist should be warned; while a trip to the Dead Sea in Israel has no admission fee, there is no such thing as a free mud massage. The closest you’ll get to that is your traveling buddy wiping the real stuff on your tummy while you float on your back and try to capture it in a picture.

If the massages won’t get the tourists here, then how about a free trip to Israel. Yep, the Israel stand will include a Happy Hour every day of the fair where they will raffle off trips to Israel. That’s right; we plan to get these fair goers buzzed on beer in order to get them buzzed on Israel. There will of course be entertainment at the booth, including the Balbalu street theater company operating, “Israel-themed activities relating to, among others, the kibbutz, Eilat, Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.” I put that in direct quotes because I still don’t understand what the ministry means. Are the actors going to act out kibbutz life, living in Jerusalem, and clubbing in Tel Aviv?

The Ministry of Tourism has made sure to bring along an additional 50 commercial hotel chains, airline companies and tour operators to close the deal.

Now, I don’t claim to be a tourism expert, but I have a few suggestions of my own. I say instead of actors bring the real people, the real taste of Israel. So, if the Ministry of Tourism is reading this, please feel free to steal my ideas!

People to Bring:

• At least two loud shuk vendors with their fruits and vegetables sans half-dead fish (make sure to sample food)

• Israeli soldiers in uniform (everyone loves a man or woman in uniform. It’s hot. Minus the gun.)

• The Israeli Jewish mama that will sit you down and stuff you until your buttons pop (there’s more than just hummus)

• Tel Aviv clubbers that will help you dance off the calories or just make room for more (you’ll need a lot of energy for this)

Do you have an idea to add to this list? Share them and be heard or at least let the Ministry of Tourism know what else they should put on the plate besides hummus!

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