Getting Ben-Gurion high, and other TV ads
Filed under: General, Israeliness, Politics, Pop Culture
It’s here – the only redeeming aspect of the Knesset election campaign – the television ads!
Tonight beings the perennial ritual of the screening of the TV ads developed by the political parties running for the Knesset. Instead of airing them whenever they buy the air time, the three main Israeli channels – 1, 10 and 22, group the ads together in preset blocks of time. So tonight for instance, Channel 10 has been given the hour slot begining at 6 pm for those that just can’t wait, Channel 1 will air the aids at 10 pm and Channel 2 gets the late-night 11:15 pm slot.
The ads used to be screened in prime time, but there’s been a waning interest over the years among viewers, so they’ve been relegated to the early and late evening periods, and they’ll only be shown for two weeks instead of the traditional three. Still, the ads are always good TV and provide more laughs than any sitcom on the air.
Following the rich get richer mode of thinking, the amount of time each of the 34 parties receives for commercials is based on how many MKs each party has in the current Knesset, so Kadima will dominate the broadcasts and new parties will barely be seen, according to The Jerusalem Post.
Kadima’s ads are focusing on tearing down Likud leader Binyamin Netanyahu, who is leading in the polls. One ad depicts a polygraph machine as Netanyahu vowed to oppose the disengagement from the Gaza Strip, while a picture shows him voting in favor of the plan.
The Likud will go after Kadima leader Tzipi Livni, portraying her as indecisive and zigzagging – by supporting the Second Lebanon War but calling it unwinnable, and calling to topple Hamas while giving them money. The Likud slogan – “it’s out of her league” is purposely read by a woman so as not to look chauvinist, says the report.
The religious Shas party is adopting the tactics of President Barack Obama, by featuring the “Yes, we can” slogan, while the Left-wing Meretz-Hatnua Hahadasha ads have candidate Nitzan Horovitz drinking from a toilet to highlight the problem of water pollution.
The less popular the party, the more outrageous the ad, it turns out. The Power to the Handicapped Party will feature disabled people having sex to prove that they are abled, while the Green Leaf Party which favors legalizing marijuana will feature chairman Gil Kopatch smoking a joint on the grave of Israel’s first prime minister David Ben-Gurion.
Everyone’s happy now – the ad agencies have their creative juices flowing, the TV viewers have something to watch and talk about the next day, and the politicians are seeing themselves as God-like. Now, if all this only helped the voter decide who to vote for…
Yes we can? Really?
It all started when Likud leader Bibi Netanyahu completely ripped off Barack Obama’s website. And when I say completely, I mean completely. Not just the idea of integrating social media – but layout, graphics and color scheme as well. Purely shameless. That was just the beginning. Bibi, Ehud Barak, Tzipi Livni and even Shas (also using Obama’s “Yes we can” mantra) have twitter accounts. Some really have the campaigns behind them, others do not. We’ve also seen, for better or worse, the introduction of “Livni Boy” a blatant rip off of the enormously popular (and hot) Obama Girl as well as “Asulin Girl,” an even more blatant rip off of the original which promotes Sagiv Asulin, a young leader of Likud who used the video to garner support in the primaries and consequently will most likely make it to the Knesset. 
Apparently when it comes to political campaigning, originality is not a strength in the Holy land, though silliness is. At least Channel 2 is doing something that can potentially involve Israel Israeli (like Joe Sixpack but Israeli) in the political process. They’ve teamed up with YouTube and are asking for Israelis to submit questions that will actually be answered live on the air by all three party leaders who are vying for prime minister. CNN did something similar during the primaries and proved to be really, really bizarre and surreal at times. I am of course referring to an actual snowman asking a question about global warming. Not sure how any Israeli can top that or if Channel 2 would even be courageous to broadcast a camel asking about the receding Dead Sea.
Lovin’ Livni
The object of affection
The foreign minister, Kadima leader and its candidate for prime minister in the February 10th elections has alot of other items on her resume, including Mossad agent, but until now sex symbol has not been one of them.
In ‘Livni Boy’, actor Liran Avisar wakes up over a poster of Tzippora, puts on a Livni Boy shirt and over a snappy hip hop beat, professes his love for the no-nonsense, happily married pol while dancing on the streets of Tel Aviv.
In a mixture of Hebrew and English, he sings lyrics like “Oh Tzipi, you’re what I wanted, all that I expected from a political leader,” “I don’t want Ehud. I don’t trust Bibi. Tzipi if you let me, I will be your man. Just tell me yes,” and “Not Golda, not Condoleezza, not Palin, not Michelle Obama, because no one can beat you, Momma.”
According to newspaper reports, the video was the brainchild of two young Kadima supporters who wanted to have some fun, and at the same time, drum up some street support for Livni.
“People think the video is a clever idea of [Livni strategist] Reuven Adler, but the truth is we did it at our initiative,” one of the duo told The Jerusalem Post. “Obama Girl inspired us to try to get young people here excited about Tzipi. Young people only connect to things that are really cool.”
After hearing about the video – or maybe even taking a gander – Livni reportedly called up her admirers to thank them. Now, the question is, if we’ll also begin seeing grassroots video tributes to Binyamin Netanyahu and Ehud Barak, the other leaders running for PM. Perhaps ‘Bibi Babe’ featuring Pnina Rosenblum, or how about ‘Bonkers for Barak’ featuring, well, someone that likes him..
The one where Harry chats with Shaul Mofaz
Well Shaul Mofaz lost the Kadima primary to Tzipi Livni who is now lined up to be our next prime minister. It’s not clear how long her tenure will be since its most likely new elections are just around the corner. It all depends on the strength of the coalition she can muster up. But that is not what I am here to talk about. I was hoping that Mofaz would win. Not because I support his agenda or anything like that but because you see, Mofaz and I go way back….
1998. My advanced tank training was held on the southern Golan Heights. We spent about 90 percent of our time out in the shetach (field). Upon returning to the base on Sunday we would drive our tanks through military only areas of the Golan, passing decimated and rusted Syrian tanks that are now used as target practice. Advanced tank training consists of obstacle courses spread over several kilometers. Each week, we would ship out to a different part of the Golan, training on different types of terrain. This week we happened to be near the city of Katzrin, the only city on the Golan Heights, sitting about 12 kilometers northeast of the Sea of Galilee. It was a good place to be, because we knew the chances of receiving an “after,” (free time) in the city was fairly high. Now, Katrzin isn’t a city per se, but it had a couple of cafes, mini-markets and shwarma joints. More than we had on the volcanic rock of the Golan where we spent most of our time.
On Wednesday morning we woke up shivering as usual, anxiously waiting for the sun to rise to rewarm our bodies. Our morning rituals of cold water shaving, eating crappy food, putting away our sleeping gear and preparing the tank for the days activities was done in silence. Everyone too tired from the previous night’s events. After breakfast we were told by our commanders that we’ll be having a special guest today – the new IDF Chief of Staff, Shaul Mofaz. It was his first week in his position and he was going around to random units to meet with the troops. He would be arriving at 11:30, so we’ll need to straighten up the area, put up some new flags and choose a representative to tell him about our unit.
Mofaz and his entourage of advisers, security and photographer arrived promptly. Eitan, a born leader who we chose earlier to speak about our unit spoke eloquently and intelligently about who we were and what we were doing. Mofaz then spoke briefly to our unit about the importance of the armored corp and upon completing his short speech asked if there were any questions. A few of the guys had some questions – though nothing too serious. Mofaz then said “Anyone else?”
I happen to be sitting dead center in the group and foolishly looked to my right and my left to see if anyone had their hands up. No one did. And that was my downfall.
Mofaz looks directly at me and says, “You there! The one looking around, please stand up.” I was so nervous that I thought my heart was going to explode through my chest and I immediately broke out in a heavy sweat.
There was a collective “Oh sh*t” among my commanders and the officers. The guys in my unit all tried to mask their smirks because they knew this conversation was going to be awesome.
I was a good soldier, but as you can imagine, a bit of a jokester. Now, this is the chief of staff of the IDF, so I wasn’t planning on messing around. But sometimes, things just happen. My Hebrew wasn’t all that great. Good enough to understand orders and converse with the boys but I couldn’t have a intellectual conversation about Kant’s categorical imperative. all my answers below are translated in English directly from the Hebrew I used.
I stood up and saluted the highest ranking officer in Israel.
“What is your name?” Mofaz asked.
“Harry Rubenstein” I answered with an intentionally strong accent.
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